In My Day, We Had To Make Our Own Entertainment

Because I have chores, an open thread.

I’ll set things rolling with some mellow vibes. 

Comments

[Mike]

Needs more cowbell duck.

[David]

Needs more cowbell duck.

You know this hypothetical band you’re always thinking of names for, and which, in some melodically dystopian future, we’re actually going to have to form…

I say we have a duck percussionist.

[Alice]

this hypothetical band you’re always thinking of names for, and which, in some melodically dystopian future, we’re actually going to have to form…

I used to play the recorder. Does anyone else actually play an instrument? :-)

[David]

Does anyone else actually play an instrument?

Let’s not get bogged down in details. And I suspect the answer may depend on how low the quality threshold is. In my case, excessive slickness has never been a problem.

[TimT]

More Slate romantic shenanigans: this lady is politically opposed to heterosexuality while being heterosexual. Sort that one out!

https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/01/straight-woman-dating-on-grindr.html

[Captain Nemo]

Does anyone else actually play an instrument?

I'm not getting drawn into this again. The last time I offered my services as a keyboardist, it didn't go well.

[MC]

I’m a cis woman in kind of a classic millennial sex pickle: I’m really repelled by heterosexuality politically and personally, but I’m also really into dick.

Some days I feel that maybe Islam does have the answers.

[MC]

More angst for the wokeists. I know it's not nice, but increasingly I find myself answering this sort of question with " Just. Kill. Yourself."

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/jan/28/what-plant-milk-should-i-drink-almond-killing-bees-aoe

[sH2]

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-warn-that-american-people-may-tamper-with-next-election

[Trevor]

...mellow vibes.

I've only ever known Asduck Gilberto as a singist, I didn't realise she did percussion too.

[Trevor]

Because I have chores...

Not before time. The skirting boards in here are rife with dust. Mother would be appalled.

[David]

Speaking, as we recently were, about mangled HTML, I stumbled across this:

We still have a team in Geneva trying to fathom how she did it.

[SumDumGuy]

this lady is politically opposed to heterosexuality while being heterosexual

Well then I guess she'll just have to go fuck herself.

Please pardon the language. I try only to use it when I really mean it, but sometimes it's difficult to pass up a good joke.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

From MC's link,

...and food sustainability experts are reluctant to single out any one plant milk as best...

One of the things I have always found puzzling is the lengths vegans go to to make their garbage look and taste like real food. With that in mind, I propose we start an industry for real people wherein we make plantless vegetables - bacon asparagus, beef broccoli, chicken cauliflower, and so on. We should do it for the planet.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Big Gay Ice Cream Is The Best.

[David]

Big Gay Ice Cream

Band name.

I’m just saying.

[Boatswain's Mate]

You know this hypothetical band you’re always thinking of names for, and which, in some melodically dystopian future, we’re actually going to have to form…

I say we have a duck percussionist.

So long as I get to pick out the back-up singers.

[David]

[ Sounds of chores being done. ]

[Darleen]

We still have a team in Geneva trying to fathom how she did it.

Go-go boots.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

[Sounds of chores being done.]

Preparing for the Brexitmas Eve party, or boarding the windows for the post exit apocalypse ?

[David]

Preparing for the Brexitmas Eve party, or boarding the windows for the post exit apocalypse?

I’ve got a pocketful of rocks and I’m heading down to the riverbank to bash the filth out of these smalls.

[Governor Squid]

The Grauniad should start selling its own specialized formula of moisturizing lotion, to keep its readers from rubbing their skin raw while they're doing their daily handwringing. Maybe it would be lucrative enough to keep that rag publishing for a few more years...

[Fred the Fourth]

You know, for someone who's got "chores", our host has been suspiciously present.
I sympathize, actually. Chatting with reprobates vs arranging my tax paperwork. Not a tough call for someone with my mental toughness. Hence my own presence this fine California morning.

[David]

You know, for someone who’s got “chores”, our host has been suspiciously present.

It’s not procrastination; it’s multitasking.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

...I’m heading down to the riverbank to bash the filth out of these smalls.

I thought that was only something you would have to do after the collapse of civilization Friday, or are you just getting in practice ?

[[+]]

"Sunday night's episode of Doctor Who revealed that the Doctor was, in fact, a strong, black woman all along, in a move that shocked many fans."

https://nationalfile.com/doctor-who-reveals-the-doctor-was-really-a-black-woman-all-along/

Honk!

[Darleen]

Back in the day, one of the tells of *real* science was that it could be reproduced.

Now, we are subjected to the claims that science is too white and wipypoo have weaponized reproducibility

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

If Big Gay Ice Cream wasn't enough to convince you Bloomberg is presidential material, perhaps you should listen to talking dogs.

[Hal]

The Grauniad should start selling its own specialized formula of moisturizing lotion, to keep its readers from rubbing their skin raw while they're doing their daily handwringing.

Oh, no, no, no. After all, to be able to demonstrate that they are actually Genuine Workers Of The People(TM), how else are they to develop calluses?

---And yes, in passing, I have been seeing the Labour "leadership" electioneering headlines . . . .

[Uma Thurmond's Feet]

I’ve got a pocketful of rocks and I’m heading down to the riverbank to bash the filth out of these smalls.

Be sure to take the rocks out of your pocket first. Don't want to end up like Virginia Woolf.

Too soon?

[Trevor]

Don't want to end up like Virginia Woolf.

I hated Virginia Woolf before I ever knew anything about her, largely because I had to translate a piece by her into German for A-level. It was horrendous. Then I read some of her rubbish and realised she was fully deserving of disdain, so it gave me great pleasure to learn that Theodore Dalrymple is no great fan either.

[Fred the Fourth]

Virginia Woolf...
My childhood introduction to Woolf was indirect - my father's reaction after watching "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf".
"It's like hitting yourself on the head with a hammer. It feels so good when you stop."
For decades now, a lot of my film (non-)viewing has been regulated by the question: "Do I really want those images in my head?"
[This actually goes back to a french film I saw in about 1980. Couldn't tell you the title, but there was this scene, a long shot of the two main (women) characters walking peacefully in a field. Their dialog was effectively in close-up, and related (with audible flashbacks) a horrific tale of abuse one of them had suffered. The contrast between the visual and the spoken was enormously stark, and the scene and tale stuck in my head for many many years.]

[TimT]

What is this? Big Gay Icecream? Clearly a pale imitation of the greatest ice cream in the world - only found in Australia!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Gaytime

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Clearly a pale imitation of the greatest ice cream in the world...

Streets announced the release of Golden Gaytime cross Cornetto cone – named Golden Gaynetto...

Golden Gaynetto - Bloomberg frantically seeking an importer for his next ad...

[Squires]

It was horrendous.

Imagine my confusion when I got to the end of reading the Threepenny Opera.

I mean, I’d been quite taken by performances of Kurt Weil songs by the likes of Nick Cave and PJ Harvey, so I just assumed there must be something to this famous play.

I got to the end, and there was no denying: it was utter, lazy crap. And it took two hacks to write it!

[Hal]

Famed Welsh singer Bryn Terfel breaks ankle in three places

Well, clearly he should have stayed away from all three of those places . . . .

[Trevor]

Imagine my confusion when I got to the end of reading the Threepenny Opera.

Bleak, pretentious, formulaic. And they are Brecht's good points. I did Mother Courage for A-level and then had a shedload more foisted on me at Poly. It was dire.

[Daniel Ream]

It was dire.

...these would be the Mother Country's equivalent of Margaret Atwood, I'm guessing?

[Lord of the Fleas]

Of course, you realize that if the keyboardist weighs the same as the duck, then all bets are off.

(RIP Terry Jones.)

[Fay]

Everybody sing now. (Leave your straight cucumbers and low powered vacuums at the door, David's Henchlesbian Disposal Services will be by later to pick them up).

[boo]

Oh, noes! The Grauniad says that vinyl records are BAD for the environment. Hipsters devastated!
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/jan/28/vinyl-record-revival-environmental-impact-music-industry-streaming

[PiperPaul]

"David's Henchlesbian Disposal Services"

Do we know if the Henchlesbians are actually biologically female or am I a bad person for even asking?

[David]

I'm used to expecting the worst from Twitter, but the replies here were something special: https://twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/1221128460090785794

[PiperPaul]

"Some derive power from making us more like what they left."

[WTP]

but the replies here were something special

"always warms my heart to think that a generation of nerds raised on cyberpunk dystopias grew up, moved to the bay, and made their dreams a reality"

(* Insert laughing/crying emoji here *)

[Tom]

I'm used to expecting the worst from Twitter, but the replies here were something special:

I'm not sure what you mean. After all, didn't one of the respondents helpfully reply that the OP had been given three hints? Seems reasonable to me.

{insert headdesk.gjf}

[WTP]

I'm not sure what you mean. After all, didn't one of the respondents helpfully reply that the OP had been given three hints? Seems reasonable to me.

Reading further down in the tweets on the original post, someone looks up on Zillow that they paid $2 million for that house and what did they expect? Click on the link and the house is actually shown as being worth $1.5 million. Things that make you go, "Hmmm...".

[Hal]

. . . someone looks up on Zillow that they paid $2 million for that house and what did they expect? Click on the link and the house is actually shown as being worth $1.5 million. . . . .

Paid the full $2M amount, or is instead renting a mortgage?

And, definitely while noting the ongoing difference between an actual value or worth of something, vs what someone is willing to pay . . . .

[WTP]

If you follow the Zillow link in the thread:

6 bd4.5 ba2,732 sqft
695 61st St, Oakland, CA 94609
Sold: $2,000,000 Sold on 06/10/19 Zestimate®: $1,532,554

Est. refi payment:
$9,410/mo
See current rates

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/695-61st-St-Oakland-CA-94609/24755249_zpid/

Not that Zillow is 100% accurate but given the neighborhood, the very obvious crime problem, LocationLocationLocation, the risk involved, I'm guessing he overpaid. But hey, not a certified real estate professional. I could be wrong. I mean, it's not outside the realm of possibilities. Quantum physics and all that jazz.