Time, I think, for an open thread, in which to share links and bicker. Feel free to recount your adventures during The Old Testament Event of 2020, aka, The Toilet-Paper Apocalypse.
For those in need of diversion, the Reheated series is there to be poked at.
How coronavirus emptied the world's streets.
https://www.amusingplanet.com/2020/03/how-coronavirus-emptied-worlds-streets.html
Posted by: Jen | March 24, 2020 at 09:58
How coronavirus emptied the world's streets.
"The normally polluted waters of the canals of Venice have become so clear that one can see the bottom".
That's probably due to the absence of vaporettos and gondolas which means the silt on the very shallow lagoon floor is not being stirred up.
Sorry if that's a bit prosaic.
Posted by: Lancastrian Oik | March 24, 2020 at 12:24
For those in search of an afternoon project.
Posted by: David | March 24, 2020 at 12:34
"Sorry if that's a bit prosaic."
Shhh! Can't make any socio-political hay from that.
Posted by: BrassG | March 24, 2020 at 13:33
And for readers overseas.
Via Julia.
Posted by: David | March 24, 2020 at 14:29
I just keep thinking of the Onion's first post-9/11 headline: A Shattered Nation Longs to Care About Stupid Bullshit Again.
(While searching for the actual article, I came across this. I can relate to that right now, too. As a world-class hypochondriac, a global pandemic is pretty much my worst nightmare.)
Posted by: Sam Duncan | March 24, 2020 at 15:22
As a world-class hypochondriac, a global pandemic is pretty much my worst nightmare.
Yes, it can be a bit, “Oh my God, I’m coming down with Atomic Death Plague,” when in fact you just forgot to take your antihistamine.
Posted by: David | March 24, 2020 at 15:32
Atomic Death Plague
Band name.
Posted by: MC | March 24, 2020 at 15:36
On the upside, hereabouts at least, there’s lovely weather for it.
Posted by: David | March 24, 2020 at 15:44
Mom brag moment (#1 daughter, CCT RN)
Posted by: Darleen | March 24, 2020 at 15:50
[ Slides well-thumbed sausage roll along bar to Darleen. ]
On the house.
Posted by: David | March 24, 2020 at 15:57
[Stealthily lifts sausage roll, peers at underside. Replaces sausage roll carefully, mutters, “Did Lucas Industries make every fucking thing in this joint?” Looks to henchlesbians suddenly, staring as if seeing them for the first time.]
Posted by: Squires | March 24, 2020 at 16:14
Oh sweet Saint Andreas hear our prayer.
https://torontosun.com/news/world/bag-it-dont-flush-it-californians-using-t-shirts-in-place-of-toilet-paper-leading-to-sewer-blockages/wcm/7a6fa794-7a4f-4994-b184-8bb266d44488
Posted by: Steve E | March 24, 2020 at 16:17
[Stealthily lifts sausage roll, peers at underside…]
Ignore the turquoise furry patches. That’s just… seasoning.
Posted by: David | March 24, 2020 at 16:26
...a global pandemic is pretty much my worst nightmare...
[pedant]"Pandemic" just means widespread epidemic, often of a new, or new strain, of disease, there is nothing specific about virulence. There could be, for instance, a pandemic of athlete's foot refractory to Tinactin™, every year there is a pandemic of flu, and so on. Pandemic does not automatically mean second coming of the bubonic plague even though the media trumpets it as if so.[/pedant]
Oh sweet Saint Andreas hear our prayer.
On a positive note, unlike San Francisco, at least they are not just all crapping in the street.
Posted by: Farnsworth M Muldoon | March 24, 2020 at 17:21
Hey, people badmouth Lucas, but my own experience (1949 MG-TC and 1974 MGB (yes I have difficulty learning from experience, why do you ask?)) was that 1) the electrics broke frequently, but B) they were very easy to repair if you had the bits. The essential thing to avoid is attempting to integrate modern bits into Lucas systems. (Wow. I just used Lucas and System in the same sentence.) I had endless trouble with a solid state voltage regulator in the MGB, for instance.
While I'm here, do the carbs on the Henchlesbians need their oil topped up? I just happen to have some with me.
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | March 24, 2020 at 17:31
at least they are not just all crapping in the street.
[ Gingerly picks up unloved sausage roll, returns it to display shelf behind bar. ]
Posted by: David | March 24, 2020 at 17:32
Except . . .
They haven't.
Posted by: aelfheld | March 24, 2020 at 17:47
On a positive note, unlike San Francisco, at least they are not just all crapping in the street.
Hmmm. Since you bring up the dogs owned by hipsters, I wonder if there's been the article(s) on the desperate travails of I know there's a lockdown, but I'm just trying to get a dog walked 'cause I was so socially trapped that I actually got a dog.
. . . . of course on an other hand, there might not be any such articles, anyone actually in that trap would find it too genuinely revealing . . . .
Posted by: Hal | March 24, 2020 at 19:11
1974 MGB
Brave man.
And, despite being a fellow petrolhead, I do not share your enthusiasm for the said products. It was not without good reason that “Joe” Lucas was known to British motorists as “The Prince Of Darkness”.
Posted by: Lancastrian Oik | March 24, 2020 at 20:03
not sure if you've seen this David... https://www.spiked-online.com/2020/03/17/the-luxury-of-apocalypticism/
Posted by: smokepunk | March 24, 2020 at 20:25
"The normally polluted waters of the canals of Venice have become so clear that one can see the bottom".
If things are actually polluted, they take more than a couple of weeks to clear up. Touting the supposed clearing as "proof" of pollution is actually just showing how little pollution there is.
For dolphins to swim up into harbours after the boats stop moving, as I saw on film recently, there has to be dolphins already in the area.
On an unrelated note, as I was driving home yesterday, I had to slow down because some idiot was coming past the other way at 70 km/hour in a residential street with children (50 km/hr). But he was safe -- because he was wearing a face mask! Many people's assessments of risk are completely screwed.
Posted by: Chester Draws | March 24, 2020 at 20:25
One for our host...
https://boundingintocomics.com/2020/03/24/after-flagging-viewership-star-trek-picard-star-patrick-stewart-unveils-free-access-to-cbs-all-access-through-april/
Posted by: svh | March 24, 2020 at 20:30
Greta Thunberg says she has Coronavirus. As far as I can tell from the news, she’s the only kid in the world who is symptomatic enough to wonder if she might have it and get tested.
Posted by: Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat | March 24, 2020 at 20:43
she’s the only kid in the world
Maybe that's why she's claiming it ... she's been knocked from the headlines. Oh the humanity!
Posted by: Darleen | March 24, 2020 at 20:55
Just found another article saying she didn’t get tested, she just figured she and her dad had it, so she isolated them. (I swear, Mr. Thunberg is either the world’s biggest 🐈 or, if he dreamed up the whole scam and is forcing his kid to participate, he’s the world’s biggest con man.)
Posted by: Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat | March 24, 2020 at 21:12
Oik,
I'm at the Toyota / Subaru age now. Much less exciting.
But about those carbs...
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | March 24, 2020 at 21:16
One for our host...
Wasn't getting the Corona virus bad enough?
Posted by: Uma Thurmond's Feet | March 24, 2020 at 22:20
[Slides well-thumbed sausage roll along bar to Darleen. ]
The most important question being... was it well-thumbed before or after the virus panic began?
Posted by: Russtovich | March 24, 2020 at 22:22
The Wing Is a Women’s Utopia. Unless You Work There.
Who would have ever suspected that a social club set up by woke women for woke women could turn into a festival of back-stabbing, bitchery, status-obsession, and a serious depletion of the world's supply of pink?
Posted by: Jeff Guinn | March 24, 2020 at 22:28
private phone booths named after Lisa Simpson, Anita Hill and Lady Macbeth
Quintessentially feminist: Lisa Simpson is a well-meaning but foolish busybody, Anita Hill is a malicious slanderer, and Lady Macbeth was a murderer.
Posted by: pst314 | March 24, 2020 at 22:36
Who would have ever suspected that a social club set up by woke women for woke women could turn into a festival of back-stabbing, bitchery, status-obsession...
I would, having known many feminists, and having worked at one time or another for a few female bosses.
This reminds me of 1970's feminist science fiction stories in which women living without men create true utopias, and in some of which men are (humanely) exterminated because, well, what else can you do with the hopeless beasts?
Posted by: pst314 | March 24, 2020 at 22:40
Day is off to a good start:)
https://twitter.com/SirBasilBrush/status/1242428065835356166?s=20
Posted by: Felicity | March 24, 2020 at 22:44
Who would have ever suspected that a social club set up by woke women for woke women could turn into a festival of back-stabbing, bitchery, status-obsession...
Reminds me of this story about the demise of a millennial-female-centred media group.
https://www.thecut.com/2019/06/babe-net-aziz-ansari-date-rise-and-fall.html
Turns out the one male member of the team had been sleeping with the lot of them, just about, and jealousy and insecurity abounded.
Posted by: TimT | March 24, 2020 at 23:24
Mom brag moment
Barmen, drink for Darleen on my tab. Not the hooch, top shelf please.
Posted by: felicity | March 25, 2020 at 00:11
As for "The Wing", there cannot be a female-only club in the US; since there cannot be a male-only club in the US, lawsuits to require them to allow men are only moments away.
Posted by: Richard Cranium | March 25, 2020 at 00:36
Mr. Head,
From what I could glean from comments on various sites, some gent has already filed.
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | March 25, 2020 at 01:04
Wait...$3000 a year for private membership?
There's the problem right there.
You want to keep the nekulturny out, you need to charge more like $30,000.
No wonder there's bad behavior.
I mean, just look around in here! Not a backstab in memory.
That reminds me. Am I the only one David seems to have missed mailing my receipt? My tax guy wants it.
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | March 25, 2020 at 01:11
A club is when a group of like-minded people form an association for themselves. I know that people tend to refer to businesses like Manchester United as "clubs", but that is for historical reasons only, and they really shouldn't.
To that extent, is The Wing a club? It certainly doesn't seem to resemble either gentleman's or workingmen's clubs, where membership implied ownership too.
Posted by: Chester Draws | March 25, 2020 at 01:32
Who would have ever suspected that a social club set up by woke women for woke women could turn into a festival of back-stabbing, bitchery, status-obsession...
I would, having known many feminists, and having worked at one time or another for a few female bosses.
I have worked for a number of female bosses and never found them difficult, even when they were difficult people. Admittedly these were just normal women, not feminazis. I would say a man working for a female boss or amongst women will have a much better time than a woman in the same position.
About a decade ago, I was a manager in a female-heavy environment and was approached by a female staff member who tearfully complained that she could no longer cope with the spoken and unspoken competition over who was the best-dressed in the office. Fashion was apparently a way to enforce the pecking order.
They simply can't play nicely together. Gentleman's clubs have worked perfectly for centuries, yet wimmin-only clubs seem to be full of roiling anger.
Posted by: MC | March 25, 2020 at 06:21
Interesting take on the Commie Bat Plague: https://www.ft.com/content/5ff6469a-6dd8-11ea-89df-41bea055720b
The new coronavirus may already have infected far more people in the UK than scientists had previously estimated — perhaps as much as half the population — according to modelling by researchers at the University of Oxford.
Posted by: MC | March 25, 2020 at 06:43
"I swear, Mr. Thunberg is either the world’s biggest 🐈 or, if he dreamed up the whole scam and is forcing his kid to participate, he’s the world’s biggest con man."
If we're voting, my money's on the latter.
Posted by: JuliaM | March 25, 2020 at 07:00
not sure if you’ve seen this David
Apocalyptic theatrics do seem related to the kinds of recreational outrage and status-signalling we’ve often discussed here. Despite the claims of concern, whether for the planet or some abstracted humanity, it strikes me as rather selfish and often malign in its effect. I wouldn’t care to be a teenager today, saturated in this mindset.
One for our host...
The producers and studio did seem oddly reluctant to release any viewing figures, which is rarely a good sign. And I suppose this is what happens when you hire writers who can’t piece together a compelling and coherent yarn, and when your star and executive producer repeatedly insult half of the audience before the thing even airs. It scarcely needs pointing out that the waffle by Patrick Stewart and Alex Kurtzman about “compassion” and “being better,” and “caring for the good of other people,” rather jars with both the tone and particulars of the series itself, which is largely joyless and often morally bewildering.
Posted by: David | March 25, 2020 at 07:08
And speaking of things that don’t bear scrutiny:
Stunning and brave.
Posted by: David | March 25, 2020 at 07:56
Be thankful you're not stuck in lockdown in this house
Posted by: Ted S, Catskill Mtns, NY, USA | March 25, 2020 at 08:28
Be thankful you’re not stuck in lockdown in this house
Ah, shades of lime green. Tricky to coordinate an outfit with that.
Posted by: David | March 25, 2020 at 08:34
See, it wasn’t China’s fault: https://twitter.com/sairasameerarao/status/1242262842092347393?s=21
I wonder if she’s offering gift certificates for when this all passes ...
Posted by: Saricher | March 25, 2020 at 10:11
wonder if she’s offering gift certificates for when this all passes
And once again the question comes to mind: “Are you super-woke, or just a racist with a mental health problem?”
Because, remarkably often, the two seem functionally indistinguishable.
Posted by: David | March 25, 2020 at 11:37
"according to modelling by researchers"
Have they re-purposed the climate computers?
Posted by: PiperPaul | March 25, 2020 at 13:01
Be thankful you're not stuck in lockdown in this house
C'mon now. That I KNOW I've seen here before. That's my mother-in-law's couch just past the spiral staircase.
Posted by: WTP | March 25, 2020 at 14:14
That’s my mother-in-law’s couch just past the spiral staircase.
And then there’s the bathroom, which is a hell unto itself. What with the green shag and migraine-inducing walls. I’m trying to think of the name for the colour of the fittings. A sort of pale puce?
Posted by: David | March 25, 2020 at 14:37
“Private memberships run up to $3,000 per year”
So... it's basically a gentlewomen's club? A sort of White's for chippy millennial chicks?
(I love that “These persons...”. In Wikipedia, yet!)
Posted by: Sam Duncan | March 25, 2020 at 15:16
Wow. I once rented a big house in the Monterey CA area for a family reunion. Before Yelp reviews and the like, and I only had a few photos to go by. Weirdest place ever. All the various types of rooms haphazardly arranged in three levels and two outbuildings. Pool table in my own bedroom. But the piece de resistance was a meter wide pillar in the middle of the main room on the second floor. Three meters tall, flaring into a dish shape at the top. Not supporting anything,just free standing. And it was a marbled violet color. WTF.
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | March 25, 2020 at 15:18
...the piece de resistance was a meter wide pillar in the middle of the main room on the second floor.
Ahem:
https://youtu.be/kZzi25eGlIM
Posted by: Squires | March 25, 2020 at 15:46
The two aren't mutually exclusive.
Posted by: aelfheld | March 25, 2020 at 16:16
Seriously, who in Hell recalls the womb? Fantasies don't count as recollection.
Posted by: aelfheld | March 25, 2020 at 16:21
There are well-appointed pump rooms...
Would one be forgiven for assuming these were rooms full of really cute high-heel shoes for the members to try on?
Posted by: Governor Squid | March 25, 2020 at 16:23
Interesting that they celebrate fiction & purveyors of same rather than, say, Lucrezia Borgia, Catherine de' Medici, or Isabella of France.
Posted by: aelfheld | March 25, 2020 at 16:28
Seriously, who in Hell recalls the womb?
Assuming their likely stance on abortion and when life begins, none of us can recall the womb because, according to them, human life is non existent in the womb. Logic is fun. ;-)
Posted by: Steve E | March 25, 2020 at 16:30
Here's a little palette cleanser: Weird Al performs Classical Gas on the roof at sunset.
Posted by: Governor Squid | March 25, 2020 at 16:48
See, it wasn’t China’s fault: https://twitter.com/sairasameerarao/status/1242262842092347393?s=21
I wonder if she’s offering gift certificates for when this all passes ...
Oh, right, her---There is indeed the racist posturing, but the really big deal for her is indeed that the assorted lockdowns are cutting into her incoming cash flow.
There's a fellow in Louisiana who's having the exact same reaction and reasoning---i.e., how dare you threaten my big party?!?!?!---and he makes exactly as much sense . . .
Posted by: Hal | March 25, 2020 at 19:30
the demise of a millennial-female-centred media group via TimT's link...
I read it. In it's entirety. The resulting combination of laughter and vomit was a new experience for me. So thanks/f*** you TimT.
Barkeep, my credit note forthwith if you please.
Posted by: Sam | March 25, 2020 at 19:36
Squires,
I admit I did not examine the purple pillar for embedded demons. My bad.
Perhaps the maze-like design of the whole place was indeed some kind of cage for evils.
No matter, even if so my family all got out intact and sane. Except maybe...hmm. That might explain...
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | March 25, 2020 at 20:01
But the piece de resistance was a meter wide pillar in the middle of the main room on the second floor.
For decades, the presentation design of Wagner's Ring was the breastplate and magic helmet variety.
And then someone came up with the idea of doing a totally modernIsh Ring, with breeches and waistcoats from the 1700s at the start, finally finishing up with the industrial revolution or so.
The initial reactions were utter and absolute horror, but after awhile the production did get declared a classic . . . with one issue that the designers just couldn't manage to redesign their way around. In Die Walkure, there is Hunding, and Hunding's house, and he's clearly a major industrial baron, with a house that has an absolutely immense ballroom with entire walls of glass windows . . . . and a tree in the middle of the ballroom.
Posted by: Hal | March 25, 2020 at 20:02
There are well-appointed pump rooms...
Would one be forgiven for assuming these were rooms full of really cute high-heel shoes for the members to try on?
Works fer me . . . but then more likely . . .
Posted by: Hal | March 25, 2020 at 20:07
Pump room...
I expect Hal has it right.
But now I have to abandon my imaginings based on Austen era Bath.
Sigh. No romance anymore.
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | March 25, 2020 at 21:13
Ha! This is the most true thing ever. Seen at Insty in a thread about parents trying to cope with kids at home all day.
Commenter "Contumacious" writes:
"If there is a baby boom nine months from now they will all be first children."
Posted by: Fred the Fourth | March 25, 2020 at 21:49
See, it wasn’t China’s fault
Please, Karma, be a thing.
Posted by: Trevor | March 25, 2020 at 21:52
Putting a new face on doing mass.
Posted by: Hal | March 25, 2020 at 21:55
Ah, shades of lime green. Tricky to coordinate an outfit with that.
Perhaps, but not impossible.
Posted by: Trevor | March 25, 2020 at 22:10
parents trying to cope with kids at home all day
I think my favorite was "Second day of home schooling. So far two kids have been suspended for fighting and one teacher fired for drinking on the job."
Posted by: Daniel Ream | March 26, 2020 at 01:03
"They are threatening me with their language, with their ideals."
Posted by: Darleen | March 26, 2020 at 04:58
Donald Trump Killed Her Calathea:
https://www.salon.com/2020/03/21/my-houseplant-garden-is-a-tiny-national-park-donald-trump-can-never-destroy/
The fiend.
Well, actually, she overwatered it and killed it, but it’s Trump’s fault anyway.
This is one of those specimens where I’m pretty, but not entirely, sure it’s a parody. Enjoy!
Posted by: Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat | March 26, 2020 at 05:47
You know, as funny as that article was, it made me feel a bit cheated. I’ve been growing house plants for 40 years and it was never that exciting. Of course, I don’t grow calatheas; I’ve never seen any sense in growing delicate, easy-to-kill plants, foliage plants in particular, when there are so many equally attractive ones that are as tough as a Marine sergeant. So maybe that’s why Donald Trump never snuck in at night and attacked my plants. 😊
Is it true there’s a fad for calatheas? That fad could get expensive in a hurry! I know several people who’ve killed the prayer plant, probably the least delicate of the calatheas.
Posted by: Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat | March 26, 2020 at 06:32
“They are threatening me with their language, with their ideals.”
Heh. The titans of tomorrow.
Posted by: David | March 26, 2020 at 06:40
“And worse than that, Officer, they’re threatening my plants!”
David, if you get time, I think you could do an excellent fisking of the plant article if you start from the premise that it’s serious. And for all I know, it is. You can never be sure these days.
Posted by: Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat | March 26, 2020 at 07:39
On it.
Posted by: David | March 26, 2020 at 07:57
Looking forward to seeing which is funnier, yours or the original!
Posted by: Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat | March 26, 2020 at 08:07
There you go. And thank you.
Posted by: David | March 26, 2020 at 08:20