Friday Ephemera

Hog toys. || Big Bob ahoy. || Witches’ brew. || Build your own engines. || Dog versus leaf blower, metamorphosis begins. || At all times, dignity. || Godzilla versus Mito Komon. || A gift for the mother-in-law. || Good idea. (h/t, Perry) || Day 14. (h/t, Damian) || Moon whales detected. || The sounds of cake. || Customer service. || Cat chatter. || Leader of the pack. || A project for the weekend. (h/t, Dicentra) || Her missing shoes. || I think they may be wombles. (h/t, Julia) || Today’s word is intervention. || Lively scenes. (h/t, Neontaster) || Minus 7 Celsius. || Paranormal car crashes. || The transparent jigsaw puzzle you’ve always wanted. || And finally, quite instructively, on the proprieties of video conferencing.

Comments

[Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat]

Happy Easter 🐇 everybody!

[Hal]

Big Bob ahoy.

Welcome to the Academy Awards, or as it's known at my house, Passover.

[Hal]

Witches’ brew.

Oh, Well Done, whomever . . . .

[Hal]

A project for the weekend.

Calling Captain Future.

[pst314]

Dog versus leaf blower, metamorphosis begins

Deleted by moderator for violating some sort of standard.

[Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat]

I wouldn’t turn my back on some of those chattering cats! Yipe! 😳

[JuliaM]

"...on the proprieties of video conferencing"

I'm amazed they could get her on something that wasn't widescreen...

[Richard Cranium]

Here's another version link to dog versus leafblower: https://www.reddit.com/comments/ff632l

[Joan]

Good idea.

That's really sweet.

[David]

Morning, all.

I’m amazed they could get her on something that wasn’t widescreen...

“Belgian health minister.”

A stern warning.

Via Damian.

[Mike]

Moon whales detected.

https://youtu.be/U8V2U7vTys0

[David]

Sports commentary of note.

[John]

Godzilla versus Mito Komon (who he?) will undoubtedly be the best film I watch over Easter.

[TimT]

Unsatisfactory co-worker.

https://www.popsugar.com/pets/man-funny-written-hr-complaint-about-his-cat-47374736?utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=post&utm_campaign=frontdoor

[David]

Chart of note.

[Paul]

We're whalers on the moon
!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y6miuzFzonU

[Kevin B]

Those ghost car crashes give new life to the old insurance claim form report:

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, hit me then disappeared."

[Trevor]

Terpischore lives.

[David]

Terpsichore lives.

That’s a lot to take in.

You know, I’m not convinced that’s their natural hair colour.

[Jonathan]

Nobody's gettin' MY toilet paper!

(or my Phil Collins CD)

via Battle Beagle

[Jonathan]

Lockdown sports commentary of Note.

[David]

[ Clears throat, points upthread. ]

[Sam Duncan]

“Build your own engines.”

Nice. Who hasn't longed for a little wankel on their mantelpiece?

What?

“A gift for the mother-in-law.”

I can't really find anything that reminds me of this guy particularly terrifying.

“Day 14”, “Sports commentary of note”

I'm convinced this whole thing is a plot by the Red Chinese to drive us all insane.

[David]

Who hasn’t longed for a little wankel on their mantelpiece?

[ Summons henchlesbians. ]

[Jonathan]

[ Clears throat, points upthread. ]

I'll clear out my desk and report to the correction booth.....

[WTP]

A stern warning.

And another thing about this nonsense, why do people insist on pointing to fiction to prove their 'facts'? Speaking of movies and such, I'm trying to think of a movie or other popular source of fiction where everyone goes crazy and overreacts but the hero keeps a calm, clear head and thus rules the day. Best I can come up with is Kipling's "If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you". But who reads that crap anymore? Obviously such a thing must never, ever happen.

[John D]

Lively scenes.

All it needs is an explosion to take it to 11.

[BrassG]

That lard-ass Belgium health minister is exhibit A in my argument to shoot all of the politicians and start over.

[Hal]

Florida Woman offers alternative Easter egg hunt.

[Killer Marmot]

Moon whales... Swamp gas, obv.

[Steve E]

Making the best of it.

https://twitter.com/FINALLEVEL/status/1248030471767932928?s=20

[David]

Making the best of it.

Also, Gleeful Mom With Hairdryer And Detergent Bottle.

[Squires]

Terpsichore lives.

So now the wokelings are ruining the kaiju genre as well.

[David]

Scenes.

[[+]]

Scenes.

Major mentalist.

[David]

Major mentalist.

I’m guessing these gentlemen - there’s another further down the thread - are high on ‘flakka’ or ‘gravel,’ a cheap, synthetic stimulant, an amped-up variation of ‘bath salts’, known to induce hallucinations, paranoia and violence, along with a very high body temperature – hence, presumably, the desire to be naked.

Should you encounter a naked man acting oddly in the street, it’s probably best to head in the general direction of away. Assuming you wouldn’t anyway, of course.

[David]

You can only save three.

[Lorna]

You can only save three.

What's Greggs?

[Daniel Ream]

I'm trying to think of a movie or other popular source of fiction where everyone goes crazy and overreacts but the hero keeps a calm, clear head and thus rules the day.

Tommy Lee Jones in Volcano?

[David]

What’s Greggs?

A popular bakery chain, known chiefly for its sausage rolls, I think.

I don’t think I’ve ever been inside a Nando’s, Subway, or Wetherspoon’s. I haven’t eaten KFC in several decades. Pizza Hut pizza is a little too sweet for my taste, sometimes almost sickly. Domino’s pizza is fairly bland.

Wagamama is good, though. The steamed buns with pork belly and apple are a favourite. They also do some very tasty desserts.

[Darleen]

The more our political betters keep issuing shut-in regulations that start defying all common sense, the more I realize they look at the Wuhan virus as a way to indulge their inner sadist.

[Darleen]

Part 2 ^^^

[TimT]

And another thing about this nonsense, why do people insist on pointing to fiction to prove their 'facts'? Speaking of movies and such, I'm trying to think of a movie or other popular source of fiction where everyone goes crazy and overreacts but the hero keeps a calm, clear head and thus rules the day. Best I can come up with is Kipling's "If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you". But who reads that crap anymore?

There’s that meme going round the woke lefty pages about how ‘in every disaster movie, there’s always a scientist being ignored’. True! And Hollywood disaster movies are always noted for their accuracy and objectivity, after all - like ‘Sharknado’ . I can’t tell you how many times that’s happened to me.

As for Kipling, excellent example, though the lefties are doing their best to make him persona non grata. It’s a damned shame; he’s a fine poet with a subtle insight into human nature.

[TimT]

” Part 2 ^^^

Ugh.

In Victoria, Australia they’ve banned fishing, and closed gun stores. Amazing that in a time when we see shortages in stores they don’t want people to source their own food.

[Darleen]

There’s that meme going round the woke lefty pages about how ‘in every disaster movie, there’s always a scientist being ignored’.

A lot of the 1950s monster flicks had scientists fascinated by the monster to the point of protecting it.

[Squires]

And Hollywood disaster movies are always noted for their accuracy and objectivity...

I was amused to note a little while back that Netflix had added the environmental apocalypse prophecy 2012. Given the political slant Netflix is known for, you would think they might have left that one stuck down the memory hole.

[Adam]

And now for something completely different:

An 18 wheel tanker hauling peanut butter.

Seen on I-22 this afternoon.

[Chester Draws]

There’s that meme going round the woke lefty pages about how ‘in every disaster movie, there’s always a scientist being ignored’. True!

Well true, if you ignore the other scientists in the movie who made the epic stuff-up in the first place that is the premise for the movie.

Jeff Goldblum is the hero in Jurassic Park, but the other scientists don't come out of it covered in glory. And the "science" the Goldblum character spouts is utter nonsense anyway -- a theory applied completely out of context. Actually, so that's quite realistic then.

You'll note that in all the discussions about "trust the scientists" that the scientists are much more modest. It's politicians and alarmists, etc who insist on this. Actual scientists know enough other scientists to not think that they know everything and are always right.

The bit that really pisses me off though is that we aren't to trust scientists if they say nuclear energy is safe, GMOs are worth the risk, that Glycophosphate is safe, etc. In those cases we are to apply a completely different rationale, and err 100% on the side of precaution.

[David]

as a way to indulge their inner sadist.

It has to be said, the police have of late not exactly been enhancing their reputation.

It’s hard to avoid the impression that, for many officers, threatening to police shopping basket content - in violation of the very guidelines they’re supposedly enforcing - is both a license to prodnose like never before, and considerably less dangerous than apprehending burglars, car thieves and feral stabby types.

[David]

Newsreader greeting of note.

[JuliaM]

’ A popular bakery chain, known chiefly for its sausage rolls, I think.’

I can vouch for the sausage rolls - best hot. Quite missing the occasional one for breakfast, now I’m working at home. You can get them in Iceland, but I’ve tried them and they just don’t taste the same...

Nando’s is great, and Subway isn’t bad. But nothing beats Wagamama. Not that I’ve ever managed a dessert there yet.

[AmbushPredator]

The current police line over the coronaviruspanic - ‘there’s thousands of interactions a day and they mostly get them right’.

‘We agree’, said the White Star Line owners, ‘Almost all our ships made it across the Atlantic in 1912...’

[David]

Not that I’ve ever managed a dessert there yet.

I can vouch for most of them. The ones I can’t vouch for I haven’t yet tried.

[David]

Damn. Now have a hankering for chili chicken ramen.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

I know I should have stopped reading when I saw "I moved into my house in Brooklyn a year ago.", but now...

Would the desire for men he’d rekindled seem somehow false, post-isolation, out in the fresh air? I wasn’t sure—about the future, about what to do now. But then he ran his hands up my leg...

...I can't wait for Chapter Two of "Corona Quarantine, A Lesbian's Lament".

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Well of course it is.

Well, maybe not.

There’s a rumor going around that black people can’t get the coronavirus...It seems as though social media help spread a story about “report” that said a man who had the Coronovirus stayed alive because of his African American skin.

Here’s the direct quote:

“Doctors said he remained alive because he has black skin, the antibodies of a black are 3 times stronger, powerful and resistant compared to that of white.”

[David]

Well, maybe not.

Heather Mac Donald on the same.

[Jeff Wood]

Men and minorities hardest hit...

[David]

And in polyamory news.

[David]

In happier news, the weather hereabouts is glorious. Warm and sunny, windows open, birdsong everywhere.

The only obvious downside to the day is the realisation that I may need a haircut soon.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Related, from the same source, you can't tell the players without a scorecard.

Heather Mac Donald on the same.

Underclass whites have similar health problems because they, too, are making bad lifestyle choices. And they will be similarly overrepresented among coronavirus fatalities.

Yeah, they keep saying that about the South in general, and it is true, in my county alone (not known as being a hotbed of the Davos going crowd) the cases have Skyrocketed!™ 100% over the last week. We now have two. Somehow they keep forgetting about that whole "population density" thing.

[David]

Update of note.

[[+]]

One for our host

https://www.pressreader.com/usa/the-modesto-bee/20200410/281960314873136

Guess who.

[Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat]

https://m.dailykos.com/stories/1936398

😄

[Chester Draws]

If I wrote in BlackDoctor.Org, an article entitled ARE BLACK PEOPLE IMMUNE TO THE CORONAVIRUS? it would be very short.

No. Are you a fucking moron? Of course black people aren't immune.

There very act of "researching" gives it far more oxygen than it deserves.

[WTP]

It's just the flu. No big deal. The American news media suggests people calm down. Get a grip.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

It's just the flu...Get a grip.

No, no, no, Get a Grippe.

Meanwhile, bad data discussed, as well as lockdowns probably not the smartest move.

Asked about Anthony Fauci, the White House medical expert who for weeks has been predicting significant numbers of COVID-19 deaths in America as well as major ongoing disruptions to daily life possibly for years, Wittkowski replied: “Well, I’m not paid by the government, so I’m entitled to actually do science.”

[Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat]

Guess what...my God, it’s spreading.

The Penny virus, I mean.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

From Ace, the smart device concept taken to idiotic levels.

[Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat]

“We’re not compatible... I’m a 35 and he’s a 37.”

[TimT]

A prototype smart toilet that can identify you by your “analprint” and monitor your trip to the loo has been created by researchers.

Really puts the ‘anal’ back in ‘analysis’.

[David]

The hankering is strong.

Via Holborn.

[PiperPaul]

No, no, no, Get a Grippe.

Bien joué!

[Joan]

The hankering is strong.

The Muslims or the chip shop? :-D

[David]

The Muslims or the chip shop?

Heh. The chip shop. Though I suppose it works for both.

For some reason, Twitter now seems to be arranged in such a way that if you try linking directly to a reply of interest, it defaults instead to the post above the reply. Which is slightly irritating.

[David]

Damian is miffed.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Sad news, Stirling Moss (or Sir Stirling to you lot over there), one of the legends who, unlike today's drivers, could hop into anything and drive the wheels off on any circuit anywhere, has entered the pits for the last time.

[David]

Inevitable.

Via Holborn.

[Sam Duncan]

“Sad news”

“Once the flag fell, I went flat out”. 1,000 miles on public roads at an average speed of, as near as dammit, 100mph. The greatest.

[Sonny Wayz]

“Once the flag fell, I went flat out”. 1,000 miles on public roads at an average speed of, as near as dammit, 100mph. The greatest."

If you can find Denis Jenkinson's reports as Moss's co-pilot for that race, they're well woth the read.

Or you could just try to picture sitting beside Stirling Moss for ten hours of absolutely ba11s out driving...

[Chester Draws]

who, unlike today's drivers, could hop into anything and drive the wheels off on any circuit anywhere

Except that the best drivers still can. I would put money on Scott Dixon being a world beater in any motorsport you could name within a week.

It was always intriguing seeing just how much faster the pros were on Top Gear in "a reasonably priced car". https://topgear.fandom.com/wiki/Star_in_a_Reasonably-Priced_Car

They would get into the sort of ordinary car that they would never drive any more, and take many seconds off everyone else. (And, remember, those other people had spent the day being taught by a F1 driver how to get the best out of the circuit.)

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Except that the best drivers still can.

Dan Gurney - Le Mans, F1, Indy, Nascar, other road courses, all in the same season. Hill, Brabham, Clark, (to name a few) similar, all in cars with minimal safety equipment onboard or on the track, no launch control, traction control, ABS, driver adjustable suspension, telemetry, and all the other electronic frippery that does the driving for the new guys. Put one of these new guys in one of the old cars full out (not the Goodwood type showboating) and they have it in a wall by the end of a lap.

[Darleen]

Lurking to protect rural areas from the criminal luncheon basket.

I'm to the point I'm not finding these particularly amusing anymore.

[David]

When people have time on their hands.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

@David above, in a similar vein, I am not sure whether the NHS media twitter team didn't think this through, or someone is expressing an opinion... @NHSuk.

[Chester Draws]

Put one of these new guys in one of the old cars full out (not the Goodwood type showboating) and they have it in a wall by the end of a lap.

Put the old guys in an F1 and they wouldn't even get it off the grid -- even guys who really know cars can't get them started until they have been taught. Once started they'd flip or spin it almost instantly, because they would never have met power like that.

Race car drivers have always driven right on the edge. Having ABS brakes doesn't mean that they drive more safely, like it would mean in my car, it means that they brake even later, on the edge of what ABS will deal with rather than on the edge of what non-ABs will deal with. It's ridiculous to suggest that F1 drivers of today are suddenly less manly and know less about cars because it is more technical. That means they are harder to master. That you can't just leap into one and take it away isn't proof that it is easier -- it's the exact opposite.

There is one area that the eras differ, and that is safety. In the old days if you hit the wall you often died. That doesn't happen so much any more, because the crash impact features on modern cars is so much better. You needed to be braver to drive in the past, but also that meant you drove just that bit more conservatively (because drivers that didn't, didn't get to drive very long).

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

...because they would never have met power like that.

Porsche 917/30, 1973, 1,000-1500HP depending on boost

Brabham BT52 1983, 800HP for qualifying, 650 for race, max output the engine derived from a stock M10 block, >1200

Renault Gordini engines in various iterations 1980s, 700-1200HP

Those just off the top of my head, plenty more examples and only launch control is a foot on the gas, one on the clutch, no electronic gadgetry to limit torque, no (or little) aerodynamics (other than often enough lift to be a bad airplane), and seeing as how at 80 years old Mario Andretti can drive the new junk, I'd bet the ranch Phil Hill, Jim Clark, Senna, or even Fangio could too.

That you can't just leap into one and take it away isn't proof that it is easier -- it's the exact opposite.

No, it is proof that they were more versatile and skilled in much the same way as test pilots.

It's ridiculous to suggest that F1 drivers of today are suddenly less manly...

People get the craziest notions.