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May 08, 2020

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Chester Draws

Quality journalism from the BBC

https://twitter.com/BBCNews/status/1258095129862254593

They can't even get the difference between disinfecting the area and the water itself, but we are meant to trust them on the Climate "Emergency" (TM) science.

It's all play acting anyway. The swimmers in the changing rooms are either just out of chlorinated (or ozoned) water and the ones coming in are just about to get into that water. Meanwhile every swimming pool changing room I have ever been in has been dripping wet and stinking of chlorine.

Steve E

Bad news and good news in close proximity.

It's Fahrenheit 451. The firemen start fires, or at least that's what it looked like.

Chester Draws

The pleasures of rubber.

Disappointing. I was expecting something more along these lines: Latex catsuit.

One of the joys of Amazon is seeing what people label, err "niche", goods as. Yeah, I'm sure a Male Latex Catsuit with Front Zipper is for swimming.

This is a "stage prop".

pst314

Yeah, I'm sure a Male Latex Catsuit with Front Zipper is for swimming.

What, you think a back zipper would make it less dubious?

Hal

Succinct review.

Steve E

I was expecting something more along these lines [...]

To each his own. I was thinking of something more like this.

Chester Draws

To each his own. I was thinking of something more like this.

I'd never get into it though.

David

A Message To The Mainstream Media

Steve E

I'd never get into it though.

I know, she'd never let you.

Chester Draws

I hope, in the spirit of the recent art work, that the woman in Steve E's fantasy used lots of talc. Because she's not getting out gracefully otherwise.

Mark

Who needs children when you have your own daily squirrel?

BlogDog

It may be four hours but four hours of the Critical Drinker may be the only thing on uToob worth those hours.

TimT

A Message To The Mainstream Media

I probably shouldn't be quite so proud that they're our very own Australian crazies in that video.

"Mummy, where's the television? I want to watch Paw Patrol."

"Dad's bloody shot it again."

"Struth!"

"I know, mate. I know."

Hal

A Message To The Mainstream Media

We Are All Individuals!!!

David

I probably shouldn't be quite so proud that they're our very own Australian crazies in that video.

Having read this wonderful blog for a number of years, I thought I was more or less inured to stupidity, but this video had me shook, as they say.

Some of them appear to have genuine difficulty speaking. Room temperature IQs.

Connor

the sights, and the sounds, of quality time.

I pity the couch.

David

Morning, all.

Today’s other word is inevitable

Jonathan

Beware of Fluff.

via Geoffrey Miller

David

I pity the couch.

Note how the lady at ground zero seemed determined to be unphased by the event, but her practised nonchalance slowly crumbled as the full scale of the horror unfolded. Her jaw actually dropping.

David

Somewhat related.

Mags

Backyard scenes.

I was waiting for bricks or boiling oil.

David

I was waiting for bricks or boiling oil.

That would seem more just, and more cost effective. And the likelihood of recidivism, which among burglars is around 75%, could be lowered, perhaps dramatically.

Nikw211

Today’s other word is inevitable

Not entirely unrelated:

David

Not entirely unrelated

Can’t help noticing that the word imbalance, used repeatedly, seems tendentious, a tad question-begging. If our Guardian columnist doesn’t have a gender breakdown of the relevant and available experts with comparable levels of expertise in any given field – details in which no interest is shown - how can he make any claims about the gender ‘balance’ of their appearances on news reports?

JuliaM

’ You want one and you know it. ’

Is that timing, or is that timing?!

Burnsie

I was waiting for bricks or boiling oil.

Nice use of the billy club, though.

Although a few more blows would've been nicer insofar as that's probably the extent of his punishment.

Steve E

[...] her practised nonchalance slowly crumbled as the full scale of the horror unfolded.

Delayed fuse or slow moving shockwave.

Also, interesting to note, accomplished without the pulling of fingers.

David

Delayed fuse or slow moving shockwave.

The screengrab of her face is quite special. Meanwhile, the toddler seems utterly unconcerned by the deafening beastliness.

John

You know you want one.

It should have something by the Residents playing in the background.

Sam

Celebrating Adele’s Weight “Loss” Promotes Fatphobia and Misogyny

As a reminder, misogyny means the hatred of women. So, to recap:

If a female hates her vag!na and pays a doctor to replace it with a pen!s: EMPOWERMENT.

If a female hates her BMI and successfully works to reduce it: HATRED OF WOMEN.

No, there won't be a test later. You failed the test long ago.

Sam

The new order.

The dog's face is pretty clear: "The f*cking bird again, really?"

Uma Thurmond's Feet

Celebrating Adele’s Weight “Loss” Promotes Fatphobia and Misogyny

I embrace my fatphobia and misogyny.

Sam

Quote of the day:

Historians will speak of this period as best they can, and no one will believe them.

From a doctor I still trust.

Rick Henwood

A Message To The Mainstream Media

Jaysus! Somebody ought to do a Public Service Announcement on these idiots. No safety glasses while up-close glass smashing, shooting ricochet-able projectiles at angled glass surfaces, attempted lighting fires w/no receptacles or extinguishers. Did any body loose an eye filming this?

So I am asking the Australian Media do 45 minute segments and the newspapers take out full-page ads on the benefits of proper Person Protective Equipment.

Oh, wait a minute...

Rick Henwood

Personal Protective Equipment

Steve E

From a doctor I still trust.

From the same thread comes this. Why do Americans have such little respect for tea? It must go back to the party in Boston.

Megaera

Am I missing something (admittedly I try to rely on our host to keep up with the latest irruptions of insanity), or has there really been a marked drop-off in published madness by the Fat Is Beautiful crowd in the wake of revelations about COVID 19 and the obesity/co-morbidity link? Just curious. I could offer some heartlessly cruel speculation about their ranks having been, er, thinned by the virus, but that would be low. Quite beneath me, in fact.

Daniel Ream

Today’s other word is inevitable

"It's about an unhealthy body image!"
"You have an incredibly unhealthy body. You should have a horrible body image."
~ Steven Crowder
Sam

"What's her blood type? Pudding?!?"

~ Also Steven Crowder

Darleen

Why do Americans have such little respect for tea?

I love tea and take the time to brew it correctly. I've never used "instant" Lipton tea but I do have a prized bag of matcha powder. #1 daughter just sent me a gift box of this for Mother's Day. More like matcha rather than instant tea. Nice flavor combos.

Sam Duncan

“Why do Americans have such little respect for tea?”

“Hot” water? From a microwave? How did these barbarians ever end up on the moon?

And “instant” tea? Tea is instant: shove a bag in the mug, pour on boiling water, squish the bag against the side of the mug with a teaspoon a couple of times, fish it out, a splash of milk, and bosh... you're done.

Instant tea, forsooth. They'll be trying to flog us instant toast next.

Speaking of matters culinary...

Steve E

I do have a prized bag of matcha powder.

Nice! My wife and I just bought a friend of ours some matcha and a nifty matcha travel mug that let's her leave the house while the tea is still brewing.

My experience in the US ordering "tea" has been a challenge even at higher priced places. The key thing is they never seem to use water that's hot enough, which is ironic given the number of times coffee places are sued for scalding people.

Instant tea, forsooth.

In sooth, I cannot but agree. I stopped the video when she showed the ingredients. Her "insta tea" was iced tea mix. So it was as fake as her boobs.

My gran used to make tea that would take the paint off a battle ship. She would double bag (because she re-used her bags, one new and one from the last cup) and let it steep til it was dark as midnight. Plus she made her tea in an actual tea cup that barely held six ounces not one of those crazy 20 ounce mugs.

God I miss her. Her tea was so horrible it inspired me to learn how to make it the right way. The wife drinks at least three cups a day. You'll hear "put kettle on" in our house a lot (something we affected from watching "Last Tango in Halifax.")

Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat

Re the article complaining about Adelle’s weight loss:

—I lost 50 pounds 30 years ago and haven’t found any of it
—That poor fool who wrote the article and says she chooses to see her fatness as wellness will change her tune in 10 years when she’s injecting insulin 2-3 times a day and sticking her finger 2-4 times a day.

On a brighter note: Charmin is once again available locally, thank God. “I am the Lord your God who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Sit you down upon your throne and I will provide.”

Well, if that’s not the way it goes, it’s close.

The pipes beneath our throne are fussy and Charmin is the only brand that’s never ever clogged. So we really need it at this house.

Fred the Fourth

Tea...
I still have fond memories of George K., a Czech engineer at my tiny company back in 1978. Once or twice every day you'd hear him calling "Tea water!" to whoever was around. Except it was " Teeee water! "
He also liked to rearrange the furniture.

David

Today’s other other word is empowerment.

David

“It’s about an unhealthy body image!”
“You have an incredibly unhealthy body. You should have a horrible body image.”

[ Picks fluff off of single peanut, slides it along bar. ]

MC

My gran used to make tea that would take the paint off a battle ship.

A farming friend of my father used to leave a huge teapot on the Aga all day, throwing in a kettle full of water and a handful of teabags every now and then. By 3pm, it was at risk of a UN indictment.

a different james

A farming friend of my father used to leave a huge teapot on the Aga all day, throwing in a kettle full of water and a handful of teabags every now and then. By 3pm, it was at risk of a UN indictment.

Something similar in one of the cafes frequented mostly by Irish construction workers in Cricklewood 30 years ago.

As I recall it, the crime involved a Burco boiler in which the toxic brew was left to thicken.

It was made drinkable only by adding a half dozen spoons of sugar.

Having grown up in a house which shunned teabags as the Devil's Work; and in which the rituals of scalding the pot and leaving the tea to draw for precisely 4 minutes were observed, my first exposure to this Burco abomination was traumatic.

Burnsie

—That poor fool who wrote the article and says she chooses to see her fatness as wellness will change her tune in 10 years when she’s injecting insulin 2-3 times a day and sticking her finger 2-4 times a day.

Insofar as all symptoms of metabolic syndrome--starting with obesity--put you at significantly higher risk of coronavirus death as well, you'd hope people would stop with this "my obesity is perfectly healthy" nonsense.

But that's probably asking too much.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

... fish it out, a splash of milk...

Cow squeezings in tea, and he calls us barbarians.

Meanwhile, three rozzers take down a menace to society, all of France was being menaced by the madman.

Kevin B

You bloody kids know nuffin about tea! Nuffin!!

One heaped TEAspoon of tea leaves in the TEApot per person. Add boiling hot water. Cover pot with a TEA cosy and place on the TEA caddy. Allow to steep, (according to taste). Pour tea through a TEA strainer into TEAcup. Add milk and sugar to taste, (yes. Tea first.)

OK. it's not quite as ritualised as a Japanese tea ceremony but it's close.

(Others may prefer Naafi tea which has been stewed in a large urn for fifteen days but that was what eventually cured me of my tea addiction and now I can barely stand the smell of the stuff.)

Ted S, Catskill Mtns, NY, USA

Why do Americans have such little respect for tea?

We're not the people who eat Marmite.

David

three rozzers take down a menace to society,

Well played, that man.

David

We’re not the people who eat Marmite.

[ Hides breakables. ]

Captian Nemo

We're not the people who eat Marmite.

This from a country with aerosol cheese.

David

This from a country with aerosol cheese.

[ Activates blast doors. ]

Trevor

Backyard scenes.

My British heart swells with pride seeing a mere four bobbies managing to subdue that man-mountain, although quite what the two females brought to the party was not apparent. I expect the video was doctored by The Patriarchy to disguise their doubtless vital contribution.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

This from a country with aerosol cheese.

Sez the guy from the land of "bubble and squeak", "toad in the hole", and boiled beef, three good reasons for scenes like this.

No need to thank us...

pst314

[Skeptically considers strength of blast doors]

I hear that CMOT Dibbler's sausages are understated satire of the real thing.

David

Sez the guy from the land of “bubble and squeak”, “toad in the hole”, and boiled beef,

I may have to flood the entire compartment with Neurazine gas.

Trevor

I may have to flood the entire compartment with Neurazine gas.

Please do. Anyone who would disdain toad-in-the-hole in favour of ghastly fried chicken is clearly floridly insane.

Sam Duncan

“One heaped TEAspoon of tea leaves in the TEApot per person. Add boiling hot water. Cover pot with a TEA cosy and place on the TEA caddy. Allow to steep, (according to taste). Pour tea through a TEA strainer into TEAcup. Add milk and sugar to taste, (yes. Tea first.)”

In almost 40 years of drinking tea, I long ago came to the conclusion that all that palaver just isn't worth it. I like a nice leaf Assam but, in all honesty, Morrison's own-brand teabags swished around a mug are 95% there and a whole lot less hassle.

You're right about the tea going in first, mind you. There have to be some standards.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Anyone who would disdain toad-in-the-hole in favour of ghastly fried chicken is clearly floridly insane.

So the majority of your own countrymen, then ?

Face it, never seen in the rest of the world - a restaurant featuring only genuine "English" cuisine, and why you are flooded with curry, kabob, hamburger, chicken, pizza (though it wouldn't surprise me if y'all put mushy peas on them), Thai, Chinese, and other places with real food.

Next you'll be telling me all machinery should be made with Whitworth standards.

Hal

Cow squeezings in tea, and he calls us barbarians.

Ah!, that was the concept I was looking for.

I spent ages four through seven in back country Taiwan, with occasional visits neaby during the time.

Hal

Continuing the thought, 'cause I was in mid edit when that posted . . .

A farming friend of my father used to leave a huge teapot on the Aga all day, throwing in a kettle full of water and a handful of teabags every now and then.

So far so good, obviously . . .

. . . involved a Burco boiler in which . .

Yes, regarding the assorted clearly civilized entitiies so described, one does steep one's tea, or else one gets merely funny looking water.

Hal

We're not the people who eat Marmite.

This from a country with aerosol cheese.

Ah, yes, and I believe that the latter is indeed the hipster version of marmite, as much as I've encountered either.

Keeping in mind, of course, that when discussing aerosol Marmite and cheese . . . or whatever the combination there . . . , for the creators of either, there is indeed always a full English breakfastt.

Hal

. . . one does steep one's tea, or else one gets merely funny looking water.

Oh, and certainly from there one does include milk and sugar . . , for assorted recipies that call for such, with tea clearly not involving any.

As needed, one can sip one's tea while contemplating the milk and sugar that is somewhere else . . . .

Jonathan

Skillz

WTP

Yet again, must I remind everyone that regardless of our numerous culinary and leisure time preferences, we all hate the French.

Steve E

Face it, never seen in the rest of the world - a restaurant featuring only genuine "English" cuisine [...]

Except, perhaps, for Fish & Chip shops and pubs.

David

Yet again, must I remind everyone that regardless of our numerous culinary and leisure time preferences, we all hate the French.

[ Glares across Channel, shakes fist. ]

David

Skillz

That’s exactly how I would’ve done it.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Except, perhaps, for Fish & Chip shops and pubs

Granted, occasional pub food, but in all my wanderings I've seen plenty of French, Italian, German, [insert name of country here] restaurants, but never seen a "Chez Pendragon" or "Cafe Mountbatten" that has nothing on the menu but delights such as jellied eels, black pudding (OK, that is a shared L with Germany), cabbage and cheese, or any of the other stuff made with internal organ bits best identified by a pathologist.

David

French, Italian, German,

[ Raises eyebrow.]

[ Glares across Channel. ]

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Speaking of food and flavors, no more Tutti Fruti, Richard Penniman has gone to his last concert, alas.

No word whether it will be chalked up to WuPing Cough.

Squires

Why do Americans have such little respect for tea?

We’re more of a coffee country. Cue remarks from the rest of the world on our savagery for traditionally preferring it black.

but never seen a "Chez Pendragon" or "Cafe Mountbatten"

The closest I can think of would be Irish pubs and the annual St. Patrick’s corned beef.

Hal

Richard Penniman has gone to his last concert, alas.

No word whether it will be chalked up to WuPing Cough

His death was confirmed by his son, Danny Jones Penniman, who told the New York Times the cause was cancer.
Hal

Some number of years back, there was some rather major musical awards show that got attended by Very Major performers, which a reviewer gave a list of.

There was Star1, Star2, Majorband1, Star3, Majorband2, The Sibling Brothers, being Brother1 and Brother2, The Siblings2, Sibling1, Sibling2, and Sibling3, The Sisters, Sister1 and Sister2 . . . . and The Richards, Keith and Little.

David

This just in.

Please update your files and lifestyles accordingly.

Steve E

This just in.

From The Blaze on the same topic:

A columnist pointed out to the AP that "a one-night stand might be a lover, but not a mistress. A companion could be just any friend. You haven't solved anything here, @apstylebook, you've only opened yourself to ridicule."

Several followers—including journalists—were happy offer substitutions for the word mistress, suggesting: homewrecker, ho, hoochie mama, slutty trollop, skanky whore, and side piece, of those we are able to print. A number of names were also mentioned.

Others threw the AP a legitimate option, with one writer pointing out, "'Paramour' is probably dated, but it more generally refers to an illicit/secret lover of a married person. Plus, it is gender-neutral."

Steve E

Sorry,

Here's the link.

https://www.theblaze.com/news/associated-press-says-the-term-mistress-is-sexist-and-archaic-social-media-has-a-field-day

David

I quite like homewrecker and side piece. Both of which manage to be more honest than the AP guidelines.

WTP

I thought 'mistress' itself was a euphemism. Certainly confused me a bit as a young lad reading things I prolly wasn't supposed to...yet.

WTP

Exactly. Primary definition:

Definition of mistress
1 : a woman who has power, authority, or ownership: such as
a : the female head of a household
the mistress of the house
b : a woman who employs or supervises servants
The servants were required to do their mistress's bidding without question.
c : a woman who possesses, owns, or controls something
the mistress of a large fortune
Whether mongrels or thoroughbreds … dogs have shared their masters' and mistresses' experiences in almost all walks of life.
— Robert Rosenblum
d : a woman who is in charge of a school or other establishment : HEADMISTRESS
Mrs. Goddard was the mistress of a school
— Jane Austen
e : a woman of the Scottish nobility having a status comparable to that of a master (see MASTER sense 3b)

So what is AP going to do about that usage?

David

I thought ‘mistress’ itself was a euphemism.

Well, quite. But evidently we’re to bleach any residual atoms of judgement, any normal discernment, on account of the word ‘mistress’ being insufficiently flattering to selfish women who, with the help of unfaithful husbands, wreck families, and do, or risk doing, considerable damage to the wellbeing of children.

It’s an odd set of priorities. But hey, feminism.

Squires

Please update your files and lifestyles accordingly.

“Compensated paracoita”.

Both of which manage to be more honest than the AP guidelines.

It is telling when one’s choice of language is not shaped to illuminate nor to clearly communicate, but to obscure and mute.

Jonathan

As a followup to last weeks Roland bit, here are some Soviet synths for your delectation.

Chester Draws

I think in a thread dedicated to the poor culinary offerings of the Anglo-saxon world that ridiculing the French is a bit off.

Also, I quite like the French. I certainly like their food.

David

Also, I quite like the French.

[ Slips farthing in jukebox. ]

Fred the Fourth

And what's wrong with Whitworth?
All seasoned MG drivers know there's no joy like stripping out a vital component with whitworth thread.
(Oh, and sorry about the lock on the door to the upstairs hot tub. I'll get that fixed as soon as I find my old wrench set. Any day now...)

TimT

Headline may need a slight rewrite:

https://www.them.us/story/amateur-masculinity?utm_medium=social&utm_social-type=owned&utm_brand=them&utm_source=facebook

Maybe.... How do I reconcile my masculinity gender dysphoria with the toxicity of men fashionable feminist ideology?

Farnsworth M Muldoon

All seasoned MG drivers...

Is there such a thing ? Seasoned tinkerers, seasoned shade tree mechanics, seasoned buyers of parts, seasoned cursers at the infernal machines, yes, but has one ever actually run long enough that its driver could become truly "seasoned", or is that just relative to other MG drivers ?

Squires

All seasoned MG drivers patients...

Fred the Fourth

Yeah, I almost said that too, about the MGs i drove.
But the truth is that my dad's 49 TC was his daily driver for 10 years, as was my MGB for me.
As long as you are prepared mentally and parts-wise to replace the distributor points on the road at midnight on a rainy Christmas Eve, then it's all good.

Fred the Fourth

I got side tracked with the MG stuff while trying to come up with language suitable for describing Kamala Harris. I failed, because she is just the current excresence of the Burton / Brown corruption machine. This goes back to the 60s at least. The SF bay area is basically a feudal fiefdom, and it has spilled over into national politics because of Feinstein and Pelosi, among others.

Baceseras

I will say, though, Nestea tastes more like tea than Nescafe tastes like coffee.

WTP

Also, I quite like the French

Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat

All that verbiage could be condensed to 7 words:

“I hate men so I became one.”

Yup. Makes sense to me. I’ll grant she or he or whatever is justified in holding a long grudge against the mugger.

Hal

Nestea tastes more like tea than Nescafe tastes like coffee.

A line from Walter Murphy's The Vicar Of Christ:

. . . ate a piece of the holy nun's charbroiled toast, and drank the liquid that smelled like tea, looked like coffee, and tasted like neither, . .
fnord

“Hot” water? From a microwave? How did these barbarians ever end up on the moon

By not obsessing over dried leaves in boiling water?

To be fair we do obsess over bean soup with WAY too much sugar.

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