David Thompson
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May 25, 2020

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Governor Squid

All peaceful and stuff.

I'm on the boring St. Paul side of the river, but I have a lot of friends and family in South Mpls, and my favorite pub is just half a mile east of the fires. It's a shame for the decent folks trying to hang on -- not only are they losing neighborhood businesses to looters and arsonists and idiotic lockdown policy, but they're looking at sizeable tax increases to pay for lockdown-related revenue shortfalls on top of unending settlements for police brutality. I'd be surprised if the Floyd payout is under eight figures*, and I can only imagine what this latest fiasco will do to the City's insurance rates. It's getting to the point where I'm not sure Minneapolis will even be able to purchase insurance in the near future.

We've got plenty of problems here in the Saintly City, but I thank Heaven that we couldn't afford a house in the old neighborhood back when we were newlyweds. Being a property owner or a taxpayer in Minnedishu is a sucker's bet.

* The quick firing of the four officers involved has very little to do with outrage or embarrassment at City Hall, and *everything* to do with the City's lawyers planning their defense for the impending lawsuit. They're praying that a quick response will help limit their liability. I wouldn't count on it, though.

Steve E

Is it as bad as it sounds?

Worse! Couldn't get past the second episode. Would have given up after one but my wife wanted to give it another chance. The main character has zero, zero redeeming qualities. She lies, she cheats, she steals and she's a narcissist--and those are her good points. I read a character description somewhere. They painted her like the Ricky Gervais character in "After Life." Trust me there is nothing that makes her the least bit interesting, unless you're into studying sick character pathologies.

David

Tomorrow’s ephemera has been compiled and should materialise just after midnight.

Also, heh.

Steve E

Also, heh.

Made me think of this Mike Myers' classic with a young Kyle MacLachlan.

pst314

Made me think of this Mike Myers' classic with a young Kyle MacLachlan.

I have known Americans whose behavior that video well satirized: Fanatical devotion to their clan and antipathy toward Americans with other clan names. Campbells only buying Campbell's soup, Stewarts only buying Stewart's coffee, and so on. But the unintentionally funniest were the people with absolutely zero Scottish ancestry deciding to "become Scottish" and devoting endless hours to Scottish lore and the poetry of Robert Burns and indignantly confronting anyone who expressed doubts about the desirability of eating haggis.

Governor Squid

...devoting endless hours to Scottish lore and the poetry of Robert Burns...

I play a pretty good cover of Traffic's John Barleycorn. Does that count?

pst314

I play a pretty good cover of Traffic's John Barleycorn. Does that count?

Only if you demand that we listen and applaud.

WTP

devoting endless hours to Scottish lore and the poetry of Robert Burns

But I can still like Bobby (Robby?) Burns if I'm not Scottish, right? I mean the more modernized, Anglicized stuff not that Thou need na start awa sae hasty stuff, yes? Does it help any if I'm 1/16th Irish? No?

pst314

Sure, WTP, you just have to refrain from demanding that everyone else be passionately interested and that nobody dislike haggis.

Does it help any if I'm 1/16th Irish? No?

See the rant in that Mike Myers sketch about how Ireland is separated from Scotland by ocean. :-D

WTP

Haggis doesn't even sound like anything digestible so I think we're good there.

See the rant in that Mike Myers sketch about how Ireland is separated from Scotland by ocean.

Yeah, but I'm a pretty good swimmer, so...

pst314

Yeah, but I'm a pretty good swimmer, so...

Did you ever see the Google Maps April Fools Day prank, where travel between any location in America with any location in England included a middle step "swim 3500 miles" (New York to London)?

Fred the Fourth

Google once routed me around the modern city of SPARTA!! by sending me on a dirt track through a small olive orchard. My tiny FIAT Panda barely fit between two trees at the crux of the route.
Probably the fine folks in Mountain View CA were worried I'd get kicked into a hole by some irritated local.
On the return i went through downtown and we all survived. Boring, if truth be told.
The ancient monastery on the ridge to the west is very worth the trip. Mystras? IIRC.

pst314

Probably the fine folks in Mountain View CA were worried I'd get kicked into a hole by some irritated local.

You're safe as long as you don't walk into a garden shop and ask for earth and water.

Steve E

I'm on the boring St. Paul side of the river...

Governor Squid,

It appears the looting and violence have crossed the river to St. Paul. I hope you and your family are keeping safe and out of harm's way.

Hal

Ooh, a tit.

I see what you did there.

He's just keeping abreast of things.

pst314

Ooh, a tit.

To make David even happier:

David

To make David even happier:

I am, as you know, easily amused.

pst314

I am, as you know, easily amused.

And our lives are richer thereby.

Governor Squid

Governor Squid,

Thanks, Steve. Pleased to say that I'm doing just fine. I'm just shy of a mile north of University & Hamline, which was the center of the trouble. A lot of the shops and restaurants that were looted are places I frequent, so I'm taking things a little personally.

It was surreal, in a way, because here on our block the kids were out playing in the yard and the parents were having a couple of beers, and it was a Norman Rockwell picture. The only clue that anything was amiss was the helicopters hovering a mile south of us. I'm very happy that the wind was out of the west yesterday, because the quantity of tear gas being used down there was just incredible.

Right now, I'm trying to compose myself enough to address the Mayor and my City Council member rationally. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to see yesterday's activities portrayed as "protests that got out of control." From the get-go, yesterday's violence was nothing more than my dysfunctional neighbors taking advantage of momentary police weakness to lay their hands on all the cell phones, TVs, and liquor they could find. The only "protesting" that occurred happened after the police busted the initial looting attempt at Target. (Bear in mind that there's a police precinct literally across the street from Target. The cops had all of 100 yards to cover when responding.)

The whole thing was just an attempt to "catch up" to their counterparts across the river. You literally heard people asking why Mpls "should have all the fun." Pretending that these people have some sort of legitimate grievance is just insulting, for those of us who have to live here, and for the family of George Floyd, who keep pleading with people not to do this.

I was able to help my neighbor board up the windows on his bar, which is two doors down from the Furniture Barn they burned. The place is pretty much empty because of the lockdown, so even it they'd broken in they wouldn't have found much to carry off. It didn't come to that, so I guess I'll take some small consolation.

David

I was able to help my neighbor board up the windows on his bar, which is two doors down from the Furniture Barn they burned.

You’d think it would be an obviously bad strategy for blacks (and their prog white allies or instigators) to claim that they do not deserve extra police scrutiny by acting in such a way that demands greater police scrutiny. This contradiction does not appear to have occurred to the looters and rioters, or to Antifa.

Progressive apologists are suggesting it is right and proper for blacks to torch their neighbourhoods and steal with abandon, because of “racism.” This “racism,” we can only guess, comes in the form of mysterious rays emanating from white bodies (their term) and forces blacks, against their will, to loot and riot. And to kill at rates 800% higher than whites.

Somewhat relevant.

Governor Squid

The wokesters out here spent all day yesterday going on about how the construction of I-94 wiped out the Rondo neighborhood, and that's why our blacks are justified in burning down University Avenue.

They overlook that University Avenue has always been a commercial/industrial corridor. The Target where it all started, and the Verizon store that was trashed soon after, are built on property that used to be the Brown & Bigelow building, where they printed calendars with Gil Elvgren's pinups. Not sure how that warrants retribution for something that happened a half-mile and 70 years away.

I asked some wokesters to consider the possibility that the targeting of Target had less to do with grievances around Rondo, and more to do with the variety of electronics on the shelves. Evidently this is not an avenue of investigation they wish to pursue.

Governor Squid

Protesters who marched from Phoenix City Hall to the state Capitol on Thursday night into Friday morning carried signs reading, “Silence is violence” and “Being black should not be a death sentence,” The Arizona Republic reported.

Silence is violence. Arson, on the other hand, is a well-justified reaction to centuries of oppression. I've had a dozen people tell me that my smouldering neighborhood is "just property damage," and I've no right to be outraged. After all, a guy got killed in a different city by a different police department under a different mayor the other day, and that's way worse than looting and burning a few liquor stores and pharmacies.

These fools get 27 credits into their Angry Studies degree and suddenly they're in a position to tell me what's right and wrong.

Steve E

Silence is violence. Arson, on the other hand, is a well-justified reaction to centuries of oppression.

Orwell called it "doublethink."

WTP

I don't know what you people are talking about. Crowds have not, generally speaking, been unruly.

https://mobile.twitter.com/willchamberlain/status/1266222829852405760

When I was a younger kid, I wondered what the future would be like. I watched sci-fi movies and read science oriented magazines. Being a tad religious, I even read Revelations. Seems my time would have been better spent watching Monty Python. Sadly, it hadn't made its way across the pond until I was a bit older.

PiperPaul

Those aren't tits, they're boobies.

pst314

Well, I like boobies.

PiperPaul

David's gonna get the spray bottle again.

David

[ Hamster urine production intensifies. ]

pst314

What's the problem David, you like tits but not boobies? How does that work?

Hal

What's the problem David, you like tits but not boobies? How does that work?

I'm sure that if he makes a clean breast of things, he'll be so happy to get that off his chest . . .

Steve E

[ Hamster urine production intensifies. ]

You need younger hamsters. This one's got a prostate the size of an acorn.

pst314

You gave the hamster a prostate exam, Steve?? [steps farther away]

Steve E

You gave the hamster a prostate exam

Sometimes it gets really quiet around here.

pst314

[steps even farther away]

Steve E

[steps even farther away]

It was that or the job at the circumcision ward--40 skins a week and a chance to get a-head.

pst314

You didn't want to work for tips?

Maybe we'd better return to tits and boobies.

WTP

was that or the job at the circumcision ward--40 skins a week and a chance to get a-head.

A wallet? That's all I have to show for 50 years of work?

Yes. But if you rub it, it expands into a briefcase.

...Sorry...my OCD again.

pst314

I have CDO. That's like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order like they should be.

Hal

That's like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order like they should be.

Is anal-retentive supposed to have a hyphen? Discuss.

WTP

like they should be

Heh. Stolen.

pst314

Heh. Stolen.

It's only fair, as I stole it from somebody else.

pst314

Hah! Found it!

Hal

To make David even happier:

Rather belated thought here, but I finally noticed that we've all been being quite unfair and utterly unbalanced and clearly need to make up for the very evident absence.

With that in mind, the following should make up for the lack.

And, of course,

Yer welcome!

Florence

Look how cute is this Anxiety Blob https://sweatpantsandcoffee.com/2019-anxiety-blob-limited-edition-sweatpants-coffee-mug-giveaway/ what you think?

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