Friday Ephemera

Kitchen scenes. (h/t, Damian) || Teeny tiny drama. || Daring daylight heist. || Those adorable fluffballs. || Floral jelly cake. You heard me. || Not fiddlesome at all, these origami masks. || Their prangs and mishaps were way worse than yours. || Question asked. || Consequences. || Nommy-nommy-nom. || Medical advice of note. || Somewhat embarrassing. || Bending light. || The thrill of yeast. || She had one of these and way before you. || At last, an alternative to bug spray. || Dining of note. || Good deed detected. || Their antique rapatronic camera is better than yours. || Pineapple is racist and oppressive. || At last, a UV phone sanitiser. || Fox chortling. (h/t, Darleen) || And finally, via sk60, heroic doings.

Comments

[Hal]

Somewhat embarrassing.

Take a dog for a walk, even take a cat for a walk, some pets are larger than others . . . . . .

[Mags]

Kitchen scenes.

Needs a few more minutes.

[BlokeInAShed]

It is beer O'clock here right now.
After that is done I usually order a pizza, so tonight I am going to go for a Large Hawaiian

[JuliaM]

I'm sure there's a name for seeing these things, but I can't remember what it is...

http://twitter.com/GrimArtGroup/status/1278723644559065094

[JuliaM]

"Pineapple is racist and oppressive."

If this removes it from all pizza, I'm cool with it.

[David]

Morning, all.

Always respect the media.

False advertising.

And I think this is called contrived outrage.

[David]

If this removes it from all pizza, I’m cool with it.

Since we’re being all controversial, thin crust or deep dish?

[Squires]

...thin crust or deep dish?

Thin crust or what?

I thought we were talking about pizza, not improperly made lasagna.

[Nikw211]

...thin crust or deep dish?

Thin crust

[David]

Thin crust or what?

Heh. Or deep pan, or whatever the fat one is called. Hereabouts, the Other Half favours a spicy chicken deep pizza, whereas I, being sophisticated, prefer the thin crust pepperoni. As you can imagine, the situation is fraught. A ticking timebomb.

[Squires]

You are right, he doesn’t know what pizza is.

[John D]

Teeny tiny drama.

That was tense.

[JuliaM]

Always thin. And crispy. Deep dish is an abomination!

[Alice]

'Societal malware'

https://spectator.us/play-game-white-fragility-anti-racism/

[Elephants Gerald]

improperly made lasagna.

Deep Crusts Matter.

Racists!

[David]

Racists!

We are honoured. The Other Half is among us. Breath mints, stat.

[Hal]

Deep Crusts Matter.

Band name.

[Hal]

Anyone know what type of bird this is and is it holding a shark?

[WTP]

Shark-torpedo bombing raptors. Who had shark-torpedo bombing raptors for July?

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Want to be a parent but that whole pregnancy thing is problematic for your lifestyle ?

Want to grow something, but the cat keeps eating the houseplants ?

Want the latest home accessory ?

Fear no longer Mx and Mx Millennial, Ronco Fet-O-Pod™ has you covered !

[JuliaM]

Hal, that's an osprey. And I doubt that's a shark, the tail doesn't look quite right. Baraccuda?

[David]

Anthony Moclair,

For reasons that escape me, your comment won’t display properly and just buggers up the thread. Tried editing it, then tried deleting it and reposting it myself. No joy. Am confounded.

If you’d care to try again, please do. I don’t want you to feel, er, shunned.

[pst314]

"Pineapple is racist and oppressive."

How about potatoes in Ireland, Northern, and Eastern Europe?

[Killer Marmot]

Catastrophe #28: Was the flux capicitor okay?

[Mike]

Shark-torpedo bombing raptors. Who had shark-torpedo bombing raptors for July?

Is that what it is? I had assumed it was some kind of shark cavalry.

[Sam Duncan]

“Kitchen scenes.”

You're gonna need a bigger mousetrap.

“Always respect the media.

False advertising.”

Ooooh, I see what you did there. But this “They're called Antifa” thing... yeah, they also wear black shirts. Your move, apologists...

“Fear no longer Mx and Mx Millennial, Ronco Fet-O-Pod™ has you covered !”

Next stop, clone armies. Don't say George Lucas didn't warn you.

[sk60]

Kitchen scenes.

She needs to put down some traps. Clear that right up.

[David]

One for the gents.

One for the ladies.

[Darleen]

Racist fish.

[Uma Thurmond's Feet]

One for the gents / one for the ladies

They really should be introduced to each other and their conversation taped.

[David]

They really should be introduced to each other and their conversation taped.

It does, I think, have the makings of a reality show. But would they find love in unlikely places?

[BilldeHaan]

At last, a UV phone sanitiser.

Oh, come on. It's been over 12 hours and not one Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference yet?

How often do we get a setup like this, anyway?

Mind you, 2020 is the year for it, certainly.

[David]

Oh, come on. It’s been over 12 hours and not one Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference yet?

Heh. And it was right there.

[JuliaM]

’One for the ladies.’

Oooh, actually that’s ... oh.

Wait. ‘Machinist’. I thought it said ‘mechanic’. My bad.

[Karl]

Racist Fish

I invoke Poe's Law.
Also, band name!

[Karl]

Compare and contrast

[Karl]

Benjamin Boyce has an interview with the struggle session survivor from his previous exposé of a New York City Community Education Council's June 29 working business meeting.

Sorry to keep banging on about it, but it's a fascinating psycho-social drama.
The event which kicked off this painful online meltdown was the guy in the stream being observed to play with a black child. Cue hysterical denunciations by the three women on the stream.

As you can imagine for women involving themselves in the "education" of other people's children these are hysterical ideologues who's entire life revolves around their social status in the Cult of Woke™, which they promote by frantically signalling the degree to which they care deeply about black people. In much the same way as they might for their pets. Or their slaves.

What they would most desperately enjoy is having a black child to flaunt on camera as a token of their dedication to the black race. Unfortunately, and likely not coincidentally, they have no black friends, and access to no black children. Imagine their chagrin to discover that a man who isn't even a member of their cult has a black baby to play with!

Their response is one of virulent claims of racism - and the explanation is simple: They know full well that if they were doing what this man is doing - being seen ostentatiously playing with a black baby - it would be a racist virtue signal. And so they simply accuse him of doing exactly what they would do, if anyone were reckless enough to let them anywhere near their black child; use it as a racial token. The bitter hatred they display is just their understandable jealousy at being beaten raw in the woke virtue stakes by a man who isn't even trying!

The ensuing comedy of hate then writes itself.

[ComputerLabRat]

One for the ladies.

Machinist is actually a skilled trade, and we have a shortage of them right now. I saw the thumbnail and thought ooh - skilled workman, sounds like a keeper, wonder why David linked it? Then I opened the full profile and - aye, there's the rub.

What the guy is really wanting is a nanny/maid with side benefits, that he doesn't have to pay. I'm wondering how he ended up with custody of the kids? Thought the courts gave them to the woman now, regardless.

[Steve E]

Fear no longer Mx and Mx Millennial, Ronco Fet-O-Pod™ has you covered !

It's been said before, there are those who believe Brave New World is a blueprint, not a cautionary tale. Of course the extremists wouldn't mind making a Ghola in their very own Ronco Axlotl tank.

[Claire L. May]

Hi David, I am a lady who has been reading your blog for awhile. I really appreciate the work you do, your way with words, your sense of humor, a fellow conservative. I wanted to show my appreciation from the increasingly insane state of California. So, I put a tip in your jar just now with many heartfelt thanks for much needed laughs, and weekly confirmation that I am not the one who has lost my mind!!

[David]

I put a tip in your jar just now with many heartfelt thanks for much needed laughs, and weekly confirmation that I am not the one who has lost my mind!!

Bless you, madam. Having bought a garment that, thanks to cunning tailoring, makes you appear even more svelte and elegant than you actually are, may you not subsequently discover that the same cunning tailoring is what makes said garment an utter bugger to iron.

[April Anne]

one for the ladies

That must be an FtM parody (step up and be a real man woman, height requirement as a max instead of a min) of a /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen type.

Benjamin Boyce has an interview with the struggle session survivor...

Obviously white people shouldn't talk back if they're scolded by non-whites, and should adopt a position of extreme modesty - you'll never learn, you'll never understand, you should shut up and pay up.

But Boyce made an interesting point in the last video about white-to-white scolding. If you're taking a position of extreme modesty about your ability to access the lived experience of the sacred Blacks, and about your own self-image as a Good Person, then one might think you'd be slower to judge other whites. But that's not how it works. It makes you quicker to judge other whites, indeed it's your duty as an ally to be bold and sweeping with these judgements. If the targeted white asks you to defend your accusation, that's when the modesty returns, and the solid ground of your moral outrage turns into rhetorical quicksand - I didn't say you were racist (yes you did), I said you need to do the work, go to uncomfortable places, like we all do etc etc.

[Daniel Ream]

That must be an FtM parody

It absolutely is. Every line is from the stock Single Mom Tinder template. There are entire Facebook groups dedicated to showing off near identical profiles from around dating sites.

[Chester Draws]

I'm sure there's a name for seeing these things, but I can't remember what it is...

Pareidolia

[Hal]

With murders up nearly 80% in Chicago last month, Lori Lightfoot blames guns

Presenting, A New Cause!

[David]

Diversified, decolonised and enriched.

[David]

Not entirely unrelated,

“Allow him, he’s black!”

Today’s word is entitlement.

[David]

In our first three studies, we show that the virtuous victim signal can facilitate nonreciprocal resource transfer from others to the signaller… We show that individuals with Dark Triad traits—Machiavellianism, Narcissism, Psychopathy—more frequently signal virtuous victimhood, controlling for demographic and socioeconomic variables that are commonly associated with victimisation in Western societies.

I’ll just leave this here.

[Tony Moclair]

A 32,000 year old severed head from a giant wolf is always in the last place you look.....

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/perfectly-preserved-32000-year-old-wolf-head-was-found-siberia-180972418/

[Jonathan]

A 32,000 year old severed head from a giant wolf...

Diet:

Location of a dog's carnassials; the inside of the 4th upper premolar aligns with the outside of the 1st lower molar, working like scissor blades
Isotopic bone collagen analysis of the specimens indicated that they ate horse, bison, woodland muskox, and mammoth!

[Nikw211]

the virtuous victim signal can facilitate nonreciprocal resource transfer from others to the signaller

What a marvellous euphemism.

Apt though.

As noted on this blog just the other day:

[Robin] DiAngelo isn’t the first person to make a buck pushing tricked-up pseudo-intellectual horseshit as corporate wisdom, but she might be the first to do it selling Hitlerian race theory.

It's the number one bestseller in the US right now.

[JuliaM]

Thank you Chester!

[WTP]

Diversified, decolonised and enriched.

Remember the old joke about European heaven vs European hell? Where in heaven the cooks are French, the Germans are the mechanics, the police are British, etc. and in hell the cooks are British, the mechanics are French, the police are German, etc? Seems more like hell with British police there. Of course the British police could be the British police of old because the British people of old were still British.

Again, I refer back to the economic forums or whatever were going on where I was in the UK back in 1999 where riots in London and Seattle were going on. The front page of whatever paper I picked up showed a London rioter standing in front of a burning London police car, the police in Seattle (hard to believe today) had been much more mmmm proactive. And the UK papers and my UK coworkers were all tutt-tutting about how terrible the Seattle/US police were.

[Jonathan]

Of course the British police could be the British police of old because the British people of old were still British.

If we'd been occupied by a hostile foreign power for several years, how would things be different?

[Hal]

An Online Petition Wants A Statue Of Christopher Columbus To Be Replaced With One Of Chef Boyardee

[Karl]

Statue Of Christopher Columbus To Be Replaced With One Of Chef Boyardee

My vote would be for Jack Somack of spicy meatball fame.

If he doesn't encapsulate the Italian-American influence on the world I don't know what does.

[David]

Remember the old joke about European heaven vs European hell?

An alternative view of the cultural invigoration seen upthread.

Via Julia.

[Clam]

An alternative view of the cultural invigoration seen upthread.

We're living in the clown timeline.

[David]

We’re living in the clown timeline.

It’s like some dark comedy:

Our robust police response demonstrated that we will police incidents like these firmly and stop those intent on causing harm or disruption to our communities.

A “robust response” that, once again, entailed running away while being jeered.

The violence shown towards officers this evening was totally unacceptable and we will not tolerate it in any form.

See above.

No arrests have yet been made.

A mass firing of police management seems long overdue. Starting with Deputy Assistant Commissioner Laurence Taylor, who mouthed the words above, along with his peers and superiors. And Cressida Dick’s head among them, ideally on a pike.

[Captain Nemo]

An alternative view of the cultural invigoration seen upthread.

"This tweet is unavailable".

[David]

“This tweet is unavailable”

Ah, bugger. It was the same sorry spectacle, only filmed from another angle.

[Geezer]

White Pizza.
Thin crust.
Anchovies.

[Elephants Gerald]

We have been netflixing (is that really a verb?) The Crown and I finally have the first sentence of my novel.

I always knew the Windsors had a time machine.

Geezer -
Deep Pan.
Half & half.
Texas BBQ & Spicy Cajun Chicken.
Double extra jalapeños & extra bacon
And lashings of Thai sweet chilli sauce - but only on the BBQ half.

And the spicy chicken half must be on the right hand side -
due to my galloping faux-chiral obsessive food placement disorder.

I wonder if any other readers have similar ingredient venn-diagramism.

[WTP]

In my college years, while I was mostly a pepperoni, sausage, and/or mushroom fan, I once in a while used to like to order a pizza "with everything". I don't recall exactly what that meant and now I'd be afraid to even ask. If anyone know what Pizzaman Express in Gainesville, FL (phone 378-2415) considered "everything" back in the early 1980's I'd be much obliged.

[David]

Anchovies.

[ Hides breakables. ]

[Steve E]

And the spicy chicken half must be on the right hand side -

I'm assuming your pan pizza is square or rectangular--Detroit style. Either that or you're having us on, sort of like putting us in a round room and telling us to go stand (pee?) in the corner.

[Steve E]

Speaking of pizza, an oldie but a goodie. "I can't eat 12 slices."

[pst314]

Speaking of pizza, an oldie but a goodie. "I can't eat 12 slices."

And yet our wise betters tell us that anybody can Learn to Code. :-|

[Hal]

I don't have a pizza requirement, as such, recently have been repeatedly ordering half "Hawaiian", which adds sliced green bell peppers to the ham and pineapple, and half all meat with added onions and garlic.

[WTP]

Yeah. That time I was out for pizza with wife and sister. Female, middle age, waitress. I ask what size differences were twixt "large" and "extra large". Waitress says, with significant confidence, "Large is 12 slices, extra-large is 16". No one understood what I found funny about that. This is why I am growing increasingly disgusted by the 19th Amendment..

[Hal]

This is why I am growing increasingly disgusted by the 19th Amendment..

Oh, commentary. The 19th amendment merely refers to plus or minus half, and still leaves the other half, without addressing the issue with both.

The issue for adults---equally male or female---is and will remain that For you will always have the functionally and socially illiterate among you.

[Hal]

We have been netflixing (is that really a verb?) The Crown . . . .

Hmmm. Speaking of Things To Watch, there is always the observation that one can use language to carefully draw lines . . . . and then there are those who can take those lines and play jump rope with 'em and we get to watch.

[asiaseen]

Our robust police response

I'm curious to know how two policemen in riot gear, being assailed by bricks and bottles, managed to break bones.

[Elephants Gerald]

Steve E

I'm assuming your pan pizza is square or rectangular..

No - it's round, but I did specify faux chiral.

Further, if we have mashed potatoes and peas, then the starch ∩ legume surface area should be less than π-(3/2)√3 otherwise the peas just taste funny.

And don't even get me started on

bowl volume and ideal fruit distribution in yogurt
(π/6) * (3* radius squared + height squared) * height

gravy depth to viscosity coefficient

and most important...

noodle elasticity considerations when selecting chopsticks - see an excellent study here..
https://arxiv.org/pdf/1810.07069.pdf

As you can probably imagine, I'm a nightmare to cook for....

[David]

As you can probably imagine, I’m a nightmare to cook for....

This much is true.

[asiaseen]

A @ Elephant G
if we have mashed potatoes and peas

With pizza? And onion gravy? May all the kitchen gods despair.

[asiaseen]

and may all the html demons prod me with sharp sticks

[pst314]

if we have mashed potatoes and peas

A legacy of the horrors of British cooking?

[Hal]

bowl volume and ideal fruit distribution in yogurt
(π/6) * (3* radius squared + height squared) * height

And depending on what the fruit is, one has to watch out for even more issues.

If one has one of those Greek yogurt things with pomegranate bits mixed in, then once that is eaten, how many months a year does one have to spend in Hades?

[David]

A legacy of the horrors of British cooking?

Combined with the additional horrors of my British cooking. In fairness, however, the grey slurry we consume does contain the four major food groups – fat, gak, stodge, and stank.

[Karl]

noodle elasticity

A thorough, even essential study - thank you for that. However, personally I use my chopsticks to eat cooked noodles. Uncooked pasta I eat with a knife and fork.

For further reading I highly recommend Modeling the mechanical properties of pasta cooked at different times (Cafieri, Mastromatteo, Chillo, & Del Nobile, 2010) who innovatively utilise the Weibull cumulative distribution function to describe the changes in the mechanical properties of each co-axial cylinder as related to the corresponding local water concentration.

[Elephants Gerald]

Karl

I'm glad you enjoyed the study.

If you're struggling for a bit of lockdown light reading I can also recommend NASA's work on relation between processing, structure, and thermodynamic and physical properties.

Of potatoes...

https://ntrs.nasa.gov/archive/nasa/casi.ntrs.nasa.gov/19920021045.pdf

[pst314]

Combined with the additional horrors of my British cooking.

I think I will continue to enjoy your hospitality from afar.

[Karl]

Of potatoes...

Another winner Elephants Gerald! I particularly enjoyed the equipment setup sketches.

To think, if they had only also examined the neutron absorption capabilities the Soviets might have been able to use mashed potatoes to contain the radioactive materials from the Chernobyl disaster.
(I've recently binged the Chernobyl HBO series - can you tell?)

[Karl]

Chernobyl. Episode 3. Open Wide, O Earth. Re-Imagined

SHCHERBINA: "approximately fifty million people--not to mention crops and livestock--would be... unusable."
[Gorbachev closes his eyes. Can't take it anymore.]

SHCHERBINA: "We are recommending we install a heat exchanger under the pad to lower the core temperature and halt the meltdown. In order to do this, I'm told we'll need all of the liquid nitrogen in the Soviet Union."

GORBACHEV: [long pause, then] "Alright."

SHCHERBINA "And of course, we'll need -- all the mashed potato in the Soviet Union also"
========================================================================================

Is anyone else worrying how this lockdown might be adversely affecting them?

[PiperPaul]

"I use my chopsticks to eat cooked noodles"

Unless you are Asian, isn't this Cultural Appropriation™?

Shame on you! Screee!!!!!!

[Hal]

What is with the underclass obsession with being seen on thrones?

Quite in parallel, I recently read a review of a book called Very Important People, discussing models in nightclubs.

Status, and therefore the presence of models, is particularly central to the “bottle service” nightclub. What began in New York as a way for patrons to avoid bar queues evolved throughout the Noughties into a recognisable global format that flourished even as the financial crisis hit. In low-lit clubs from Ibiza to Dubai, champagne and spirits are now routinely brought to patrons’ tables with soaring mark-ups (1,000 per cent isn’t uncommon) and giddy-making fanfare. Think snaking trains of magnums bedecked with special glow-in-the-dark labels and pyrotechnic flares. The decor exudes extravagance, whether through imported mature birch trees, suede-covered ceilings or golden entrance tunnels.

. . . and while reading the review, my overall reaction was to wonder just what the point was supposed to be---I get what the attendees think the point is, but . . . . And after a bit I did realize where I had seen all that before and why the behavior looked so bloody utterly tacky . . . .

Looking at that paragraph again . . .

Status, and therefore the presence of models, is particularly central to the “bottle service” nightclub. What began in New York as a way for Fredo Corleone to avoid bar queues evolved throughout the Noughties into a recognisable global format that flourished even as the financial crisis hit. In low-lit clubs from Ibiza to Dubai, champagne and spirits are now routinely brought to Fredo Corleone’s table with soaring mark-ups (1,000 per cent isn’t uncommon) and giddy-making fanfare. Think snaking trains of magnums bedecked with special glow-in-the-dark labels and pyrotechnic flares. The decor exudes extravagance, whether through imported mature birch trees, suede-covered ceilings or golden entrance tunnels.

[svh]

fat, gak, stodge, and stank

Band name.

[Elephants Gerald]

Combined with the additional horrors of my British cooking...

I've tried to get David to try to expand his culinary range with recipes like these...

https://www.youtube.com/user/Maangchi

but he won't even put on the wig, let alone attempt to pronounce 돼지고기찌개 (Dwaejigogi-jjigae)

Is anyone else worrying how this lockdown might be adversely affecting them?

Absolutely. Bu I can help you fix that...

Add this to your Netflix queue - https://www.netflix.com/title/80209553 - it will make even he most cabin fevered amongst us feel quite normal....

- it's a murder room game show slash Korean Drama which wildly gyrates between an overarching serial killer story line, a spooky island where the inhabitants are keeping a vampire doctor captive, a village where all the young girls disappear and slapstick comedy from Yu Jae Suk and Lee Kwang Soo of Running Man.

God, I love Korean TV.

[pst314]

fat, gak, stodge, and stank

CMOT Dibbler's sausages. :-o

[Hal]

. . . but he won't even put on the wig, . . .

Clearly you're looking at the wrong cooking show.

[Karl]

fat, gak, stodge, and stank

I believe those are the names for Kellog's new multi-ethnic Rice Krispies mascots?

[Karl]

it's a murder room game show slash Korean Drama

Holy Cow, and I used to think Japanese game shows were weird!

[Steve E]

fat, gak, stodge, and stank

Band name.

Law firm.

[David]

Holy Cow,

As you can imagine, the evenings simply fly by.

[Captain Nemo]

Robot bar of note: https://twitter.com/kellywearstler/status/1279480253639995398

[David]

Robot bar of note

Want.

[Baceseras]

Go for a ride? Come on, let's go for a ride.

https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/385003/

[Trevor]

My mother used to say "There's a lid for every pot" but that was in the Before Times. I think this individual would do best to order a bespoke one.

[Baceseras]

Sitting in the park. Quote of the day (overheard):

"The squirrels on this side aren't as friendly as the ones on the other side."