For Wear And Tear On The Upholstery

Yes, it’s time to remind patrons that this rickety barge, on whose seating your arses rest, is kept afloat by the kindness of strangers. If you’d like to help it remain buoyant a while longer, and remain ad-free, there’s an orange button below with which to monetise any love. Debit and credit cards are accepted. For those wishing to express their love regularly, there’s a monthly subscription option top left, use of which almost certainly earns you a place in heaven. And if one-click haste is called for, my PalPay.Me page can be found here. Additionally, any Amazon UK shopping done via this link or the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, results in a small fee for your host at no extra cost to you.

For newcomers wishing to know more about what’s been going on here for the last thirteen years, in close to 3,000 posts and over 100,000 comments, the reheated series is a pretty good place to start - in particular, the end-of-year summaries, which convey the fullest flavour of what it is we do. A sort of blog concentrate. If you like what you find there… well, there’s lots more of that.

If you can, do take a moment to poke through the discussion threads too. The posts are intended as starting points, not full stops, and the comments are where much of the good stuff is waiting to be found. And do please join in.

As always, thanks for the support, the comments, and the company. Also, open thread. 

Comments

[ComputerLabRat]

I'm not sure how the Amazon thing works for you, but I used your US button to make a major purchase, as well as several minor ones. Many thanks, good sir, for your hospitality in this establishment, even if you do torture us on occasion (for our own good of course) with various incomprehensible works of performance "art".

[Hal]

Protest vs "protest"

What we need to do is have everyone, including the media, stop calling the after-dark destruction “demonstrations.”

The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. did not cross the bridge at Selma under cover of darkness. You can’t even read a protest sign at night.

The demonstrations end when the sun goes down. After that, it’s trouble for trouble’s sake.

The people tearing up the cities don’t care about elections. Most of them don’t even vote.

---Willie Brown

[Daniel Ream]

I always try to jingle the register. In an increasingly toxic Internet environment, this is one of the few places where the commenters remain sane and grounded and remind me I'm not alone out here.

Next round for the house is on me, barkeep.

[Hal]

Olson Johnson and Howard Johnson agree with Van Johnson that the man was definitely Samuel Johnson.

[JuliaM]

Looks like today's the day to buy a few things on Amazon... ;)

[sk60]

Ping!

[John D]

In an increasingly toxic Internet environment, this is one of the few places where the commenters remain sane and grounded and remind me I'm not alone out here.

That. Tip jar hit.

[David]

Looks like today’s the day to buy a few things on Amazon...
I used your US button to make a major purchase, as well as several minor ones.
Next round for the house is on me, barkeep.
Ping!
Tip jar hit.

Morning, all. And bless you all. May any family gathering you attend be oversupplied with desserts, such that you’re obliged to bring two of them home with you.

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Pinged something towards the bar tab.

[David]

Pinged something towards the bar tab.

Bless you, sir. May your windows never squeak, thereby alarming a badger, whose foraging intrigues you.

[Em]

Ping!

[Felicity]

I need all the help I can to get get to heaven, so ping!

And..... https://twitter.com/AdamCSharp/status/1300324189187059713?s=20

[David]

Ping!
I need all the help I can to get to heaven, so ping!

Bless you, madams. Whatever your age, may you know the simple pleasure of waking to pristine snow.

And…

I did chuckle at number five.

[Peter J]

in particular, the end-of-year summaries,

Made me laugh a lot. Sending that to some friends.

[Peter J]

Oh and ping. :-)

[David]

Oh and ping.

Bless you, sir. May the manufacturer of your chosen brand of bin liner thoughtfully include a stickered liner towards the end of the packet, reminding you to order more.

Also, if anyone has trouble with comments not appearing, email me (top left) and I’ll poke about in the famously capricious spam filter, whose criteria for entrapment remain a mystery to us all.

[sH2]

"Struggles to find a job"

https://twitter.com/MetroUK_Life/status/1300191727081357314

[David]

“Death to America.”

[sH2]

"This is CNN"

https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/1300219759355555840

[David]

“This is CNN”

“Please refrain from noticing reality. Also, vote Democrat.”

[asiaseen]

But it's a mostly peaceful fire.

Who's got the marshmallows?

[Alice]

*clears bar tab*

Thanks, David.

[Mike]

Pinged

[David]

*clears bar tab*
Pinged

Bless, you madam, and sir. May you never find yourselves locked in a mortal struggle with the defective screw-cap of a PLJ lime juice bottle.

[Iowa Jim]

Just placed an order. Happy to help.

[David]

Happy to help.

Bless you, sir. May any queues you encounter be short, civilised, and oddly calming.

[Trevor]

You've received an accolade.

[Trevor]

...this is one of the few places where the commenters remain sane and grounded...

Please, be careful where you throw down the gauntlet. There's no telling who might pick it up.

[David]

You’ve received an accolade.

[ Rummages for acceptance speech notes. ]

[David]

You’ve received an accolade.

Though as I think I said at the time, it’s swiped shamelessly from an episode of The Golden Girls.

[Adam]

Radio commercial heard today: "Tune in for all the pageantry of the Kentucky Derby but without the fans..."

Perhaps a slight exaggeration about "all the pageantry"?

BTW: Tip jar hit

[David]

BTW: Tip jar hit

Bless you, sir. May the packing area at the checkouts of your local supermarket be level and not slanted slightly, resulting in unstable packing and much clattering of wine bottles, thereby attracting attention, possibly judgement.

[Uma Thurmond's Feet]

Hijinks discovered at Scottish wikipedia. From the top of the page:

"(in Scots) Followin recent revelations, Scots Wikipedia is presently reviewin its airticles for muckle leid inaccuracies. (FAQ)"

[David]

Drumming is hard.

[WTP]

Drumming is hard.

Yoko? Is that you? You're a percussionist now?

Tip jar to be hit shortly.

[Rick Henwood]

For Wear And Tear On The Upholstery

Err, yes, any possibility of a cushion for this tea crate?

[WTP]

Pinged as promised.

[Captain Nemo]

Let's see if that fixes the italics.

[WTP]

..aaaand backslash eye service, complimentary.

[David]

Pinged as promised.

Bless you, sir. May you never be unsure whether to use ‘may’ or ‘might’.

[Rick Henwood]

Possibly not. Screwed up the Italics

(Slides tea crate to corner)

[Rick Henwood]

Thank-you Cap'n. My preview is not necessarily showing a true preview for some reason.

[David]

Thanks to all who’ve chipped in so far, including all those much too shy to say hello, or who’ve subscribed, or done shopping via the Amazon links. It’s what keeps this place here and is much appreciated. It also tempers my default cynicism regarding the human heart.

So there’s that, I suppose.

[Rick Henwood]

(sits in corner sipping pint grateful to our host for his time and acumen)

[David]

Err, yes, any possibility of a cushion for this tea crate?

[ Passes damp, well-used tea towel. ]

[WTP]

May you never be unsure whether to use ‘may’ or ‘might’.

Heh...yeah...uh...thanks.

My preview is not necessarily showing a true preview for some reason.

May you find this helpful, the Preview button doesn't work when fixing Italics, at least my experience using mostly Chrome on iPad. If you enter the appropriate close italics tag, you have to take a leap of faith, close your eyes, and hit Post. In which case, you will still see a cavalcade of Italics BUT BUT BUT if you refresh the page you will see that your efforts were not in vain...or vane...seems I may need another blessing.

[Rick Henwood]

..aaaand backslash eye service, complimentary.

Was that an Italicized wink?

[Trevor]

(sits in corner sipping pint grateful to our host for his time and acumen)

Acumen? You must be one of the favoured inner circle if you've been offered so much as a hint of any of that.

[David]

You must be one of the favoured inner circle if you’ve been offered so much as a hint of any of that.

It’s a Movnrovian liqueur, served with an eye-dropper.

[fnord]

Bless you, sir. May the packing area at the checkouts of your local supermarket be level and not slanted slightly, resulting in unstable packing and much clattering of wine bottles, thereby attracting attention, possibly judgement

Quite possibly the most first world of problems.

[David]

Quite possibly the most first world of problems.

You don’t know, man. You weren’t there.

[ Shakes fist at M&S Food Hall’s gently sloped checkouts. ]

[Rick Henwood]

Passes damp, well-used tea towel

(Mutters.. where in the F did the square brackets go? Ah here they are) [Quickly uses tea-towel for mask]

Have we been in here for fourteen days yet?

[Rick Henwood]

Acumen? You must be one of the favoured inner circle if you've been offered so much as a hint of any of that.

I'm the one with the pointer. At the easel.

[pst314]

(sits in corner sipping pint grateful to our host for his time and acumen)

To misquote Pogo, a blogger has only acumen, but a good cigar is a smoke.

[vagabond]

Done! An order from Amazon will deposit you some payola

[TL]

Long time lurker here. Thanks for some great blogging. Tip jar rattled in appreciation.

[Hal]

Invincible.

---David will especially enjoy this.

Not only did it turn up here sometime in the last couple of years, but, most importantly, it's French.

[David]

This sounds about right.

Somewhat related.

An order from Amazon will deposit you some payola
Tip jar rattled in appreciation.

Bless you. May your favourite shoes – the stylish, comfortable ones that you can wear pretty much anywhere, and have worn pretty much everywhere, and therefore need to replace with a new pair – always be in stock.

[Richard Cranium]

---David will especially enjoy this.

I stopped trying to read minds 40 years ago.

[svh]

This sounds about right.

"THE PEOPLE DEFENDING THE LOOTERS HAVE NEVER BUILT ANYTHING WORTHWHILE, SO OF COURSE THEY SIDE WITH THE DESTROYERS."

That.

[David]

That.

Well, those championing feral predation and the recreational violation of random people are generally inhabitants of academia’s Clown Quarter, or former students who’ve only recently emerged from the Clown Quarter and are still subject to its stupefying effects. Which is to say, people who’ve embraced moral contortion, and among whom dogmatic perversity is a marker of status. Which, being leftists, they very much crave.

It seems pretty obvious that destroying someone’s small business, their livelihood – randomly, because you can - entails for the victim more than economic loss, even assuming they’re in a position to replace everything that’s been trashed, stolen or set on fire. Finding years of work and investment utterly destroyed, out of naked spite, is likely to be demoralising, to damage the victim’s will to go on, or to start again from scratch. This is hardly an esoteric point.

But wokeness is very much about disdaining the obvious, especially when it’s true. And so we get a kind of practised sociopathy.

It’s a phenomenon that we’ve seen many times.

[Mags]

Douglas Murray interview. https://youtu.be/Nmbd60apsfQ

[David]

Douglas Murray interview.

Always something of value in a Douglas Murray interview. As indeed here.

[JW]

Creeps out of the darkness to rattle the tip jar. Creeps back.

[David]

Creeps out of the darkness to rattle the tip jar. Creeps back.

Thought I heard a rustling in the bushes. I’d already sent for my revolver. And bless you, sir. On summer days, should small flies find their way indoors through a wide-open window, may they never have inexplicable difficulty finding their way out again.

[[+]]

And so we get a kind of practised sociopathy.

'Related'...

https://twitter.com/selfdeclaredref/status/1300677689918083072

[Adam]

Writers in support of looting: Been there. Done that.

Check out "Radical Chic & Mau-Mauing the Flak Catchers" by Tom Wolfe. Available on Amazon (hint hint..)

[David]

Available on Amazon (hint hint..)

Your host wholeheartedly endorses this message. Shop like the wind.

[Rafi]

Tip jar hit. :-)

[David]

Tip jar hit. :-)

Bless you, sir. May you always have cash handy to buy something at the neighbours’ young daughters’ somewhat under-attended yard sale - which they’ve been planning for days, apparently - thereby making two little girls beam with triumph.

[pst314]

And so we get a kind of practised sociopathy. 'Related'...

Is it too early to argue that Antifa are not human beings?

[Daniel Ream]

Is it too early to argue that Antifa are not human beings?

Sooner or later, everyone comes around to the idea of helicopters.

[pst314]

Sooner or later, everyone comes around to the idea of helicopters.

Why bother with helicopters when you can march these Marxists into a Gulag style labor camp just like they dream of putting us in? It would be...educational. :-D

[Hal]

Sooner or later, everyone comes around to the idea of helicopters.

Flap, flap, flap.---Or as the Marxists put it, you really like the idea of being a useful idiot.

Why bother with helicopters when you can march these Marxists into a Gulag style labor camp . . .

. . . . because you deeply admire and revere the Marxists and want to be just like them.

We pass.

[Hal]

Additionally, any Amazon UK shopping done via this link or the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, . . .

I have just learned that there is such a thing as a Mouse Jiggler.

[Clam]

*love monetized*

[David]

*love monetized*

Bless you, sir. May your packed lunch never lack punch.

[Ted S, Catskill Mtns, NY, USA]

I have just learned that there is such a thing as a Mouse Jiggler.

Fluffer for Mickey, right?

[Captain Nemo]

Further to the interview with Douglas Murray posted above by Mags, here's another. This time, Nigel Farage is the one asking the questions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKQmgP61LUI&t

[TomJ]

May your packed lunch never lack punch.

This is my new favourite. I am fond of the convoluted ones, but brevity has a brilliant punchiness. Cf my favourite ever signal, sent on the occasion of a USN victory in WWII:

"Sighted sub, sank same."

[pst314]

It must be Hell, living inside Hal's head.

[Hal]

. . . . but brevity has a brilliant punchiness. Cf my favourite ever signal, . . .

Both Victor Hugo and Oscar Wilde are credited with cabling a publisher about how sales of book were going:

?

! replied the publisher.

[Hal]

It must be Hell, living inside Hal's head.

Oh, you poor dear.

Utterly frantically bored are you, or at least frantic?

Don't worry, we'll concede you your apparent ongoing experience of hell . . .

[Connor]

Thanks for the laughs, David
Tip jar has been hit.

[David]

Tip jar has been hit.

Bless you, sir. May your in-store mask-wearing never result in chin sweat.

[Jacob]

Never go full Mao-ling

https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/398101/

[Darleen]

Today would have been my dad, David Click's, 92nd birthday. In honor of one David to another, tip jar rattled.

[Jacob]

And ping!

[David]

tip jar rattled.
And ping!

Bless you, madam, and sir. When the Covid saga has passed, may you relish many hugs.

[Governor Squid]

I rummaged around the wife's purse sofa cushions and found enough for you and the Other Half to buy a nice bottle of coping sauce.

[Rick Henwood]

Don't know if anyone else saw this.

Apparently you can write 288 pages explaining why it is ok to steal other peoples property

https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2020/08/27/906642178/one-authors-argument-in-defense-of-looting?preview=

and look like a fool and hypocrite on the very first page.

https://twitter.com/JadedSceptic/status/1300094370931257344

[David]

enough for you and the Other Half to buy a nice bottle of coping sauce.

Bless you, sir. May you never miscalculate the amount of free space in your freezer, such that you end up handing loaves to a politely amused neighbour.

[WTP]

So as this is still an open thread that’s mmm...open...

Admittedly I’m not the MOST literary guy but I found this amusing. Of course I am a tad mentally unwell...read poet Matthew Arnold’s Dover Beach, then read Anthony Hect’s Dover Bitch. Am I missing something or is that damn funny?

[David]

Again, thanks to all who’ve chipped in so far, including all those much too shy to say hello, or who’ve subscribed, or done shopping via the Amazon links. It’s what keeps this place here and is much appreciated.

[Lewis]

Love monetised. Blessed already.

[Fay]

Ping. Cin Cin!

[Curt]

Ping! All I ask is for my name to be inscribed on the next upholstery path added. That, and an overgenerous shot in my next drink...

[Curt]

That was supposed to be "upholstery PATCH". Once again demonstrating the capability to ruin my own jokes!

[Adam]

Remember “Steal this Book!” by Abbie Hoffman. He was Antifa before Antifa was cool. Not a pretty sight.

[Ed Snack]

For those into succinct messages, although possibly apocryphal the message given when Sir Charles Napier conquered Sindh in India was "Peccavi" (Latin for "I have sinned") rates highly in my book

And to be "pinged", if only to get a personalised thank you message !