David Thompson
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May 14, 2021

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pst314

Made of bananas

Don't tell Hanuman.

pst314

David, do you have any of this behind the bar?

pst314

Awwww.

pst314

Facehugger attacks.

pst314

You will put £1000 in David's tip jar. You will put £1000 in David's tip jar. You will put £1000 in David's tip jar...

pst314

Squirrel goes for a ride.

WTP

London scenes.

Now what do you suppose would have happened if someone had done that back in 1941, 1951, 1961, 1971, 1981, 1991, 2001, or even maaaaybe, 2011? What is different? What has changed? Not society's scumbags. Nope. Always had scumbags. It's something else...hmmm...

Daniel Ream

If Columbo were anime. You’d watch and you know it.

Not dubbed I wouldn't. Philistines.

You may be amused to discover that Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is a thing which exists.

Darleen

Another act of anti-Asian white supremacy.

sH2

London scenes.

"Part and parcel of living in a great global city is you have to be prepared for these things". Sadiq Khan.

David

Morning, all.

Headline of note.

Now what do you suppose would have happened if someone had done that back in 1941…

It’s a little baffling, not least as the chap in question has apparently been shopping in M&S, which has customer toilets. Is it some kind of protest? An artistic performance? Mental illness? Or just more evidence of a decline into squalor?

Still, at least he didn’t drop his bread in it.

NTSOG

If it has a moustache and a beard, then it's a man and needs to be in a men's prison where it can learn to play leap frog in the showers.

[+]

I think it’s fair to say mistakes were made.

"Account suspended"

David

“Account suspended”

Bugger.

Nikw211

If Columbo were anime.

You shouldn't really need Columbo for this: a lingering mystery solved Part 1, Part 2.

Ray

I'll have a 'one night in bang cough syrup' please, bartender.

David

You will put £1000 in David’s tip jar. You will put £1000 in David’s tip jar. You will put £1000 in David’s tip jar...

It has to be said, I do appreciate bold gestures.

David

a lingering mystery solved Part 1, Part 2.

Evergreen.

JuliaM

Confection of note.

Surely that’s an April Fool that got released late..?

Joan

"Looking good"

https://twitter.com/JoWoCo/status/1378430925948731392

Sam Duncan

“Love in unlikely places.”

From the same account. Well played, sir. Well played.

“Confection of note.”

Pity you can't get those raspberry-flavoured crisps they had in the '80s any more. Pairing those up would really mess with people's heads.

Mike D

And finally, an obliging bird.

I'll take a dozen.

pst314

...2001, or even maaaaybe, 2011?

As a matter of fact, I recall seeing a video taken in the early 2000's of someone doing that in somebody's doorway, except that the perpetrator was Middle Eastern or South Asian and there seemed to be nobody else on the street.

pst314

You may be amused to discover that Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is a thing which exists.

"This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by 一般社団法人コンテンツ海外流通促進機構 (CODA)."

pst314

I think it’s fair to say mistakes were made.

The photo was pretty horrifying--definitely in the "neuralize me now" class of traumas.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Continuing in our series of Always Use Approved Containers we have Maryland Man.

pst314

"The guns are out of control. Whoever is responsible for this nearly killed an entire family"

No, it's not the guns that are out of control; it's the savages.

Alice

I like the piano.

Daniel Ream

This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim

O_o Well, that was fast.

Imagine the Columbo anime, except it's young Perry Mason, and it's not a parody.

Also sometimes the defendant is a killer whale.

pst314

Imagine the Columbo anime, except it's young Perry Mason, and it's not a parody.

It does seem painfully over the top, though.

Joan

Love in unlikely places.

Nothing says romance like a massive bag of toilet rolls.

RNB

"Sculpture of Realdo Colombo splitting the labia and discovering the clitoris."

David

“Looking good”

Hm. Perhaps it’s a work in progress.

pst314

“Account suspended”

Try this.

Governor Squid

animatronic tail.

Please tell me there's a blooper reel where that dude's tail gets caught in the bicycle spokes.

asiaseen

Still, at least he didn’t drop his bread in it.

Pity

Daniel Ream

It does seem painfully over the top

Well, when I said "not a parody" I meant not an intentional parody.

pst314

The old one two. Ouch.

Darleen

Four-legged thugs.

Governor Squid

Four-legged thugs.

I'd need to purchase a chest freezer after an attack like that...

David

And in science news.

Steve E

And in science news.

Explains the demand for inverted boneless pork rectums.

Governor Squid

I say we put out the word that Science Says you can float face-down in a lake for ten minutes, breathing through your hind end. Get somebody to make a Fauci deepfake, and our electoral problems could be mitigated for a generation!

TimT

Four-legged thugs.

Paging Mr Obelix, Mr Obelix, clean up needed in aisle 5.

NTSOG

Feral pigs are a serious problem in many countries. They're very dangerous, spread disease as well as damage crops and pasture. A farmer whose property is about 3 miles from mine killed 16 a couple of months ago. A friend of my wife had to call in professional pest controllers a year ago as her small farm was over-run by a mob which dug up her newly sown pasture. They trapped one or two and then killed them. The rest got the message and departed.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Problem:

Feral pigs are a serious problem in many countries.

Solution.

pst314

Solution.

I'm astonished to learn that the founder and CEO is not named Pinochet.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

I'm astonished to learn that the founder and CEO is not named Pinochet.

TBF, they are shooting the hogs, not throwing them out...

Steve E

not throwing them out...

"As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

Richard Cranium

http://www.boarbuster.com/

pst314

TBF, they are shooting the hogs, not throwing them out...

I confess that I cannot resist a bad joke.

pst314

"As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

They can. Have you been to an airport recently?

Farnsworth M Muldoon

"As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

They can, and they are out for revenge.

pst314

They can, and they are out for revenge.

Most airplane-bird collisions are heroic suicide attacks. If you look closely you can see the rising sun headbands. [ throws Haldol pills into the trash, dons giant chicken costume, resumes writing 700 page anti-Chick-fil-A manifesto ]

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Most airplane-bird collisions are heroic suicide attacks.

Reminds me of the old joke about the C-23 - only airplane that has bird strikes on the trailing edges.

Meanwhile, finally, a gentleman with a cogent argument for vaccination.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Finally, for less then $400/month, the affordable housing crisis in Portland is solved.

Meanwhile a Scotperson argues why a train conductor should have been fired.

David

Meanwhile a Scotperson argues why a train conductor should have been fired.

It may be telling, which party was first in with the personal insults.

[ Added: ]

And of course, if you’re appearing on TV to explain why a train conductor should be corrected or reprimanded, perhaps even fired, simply for greeting passengers and making them feel welcome in a way that’s both customary and generally appreciated, instead of using ungendered, impersonal language or modish terms that are unfamiliar to almost everyone, that isn’t an ideal basis for smug moral posturing.

RNB

Finally, for less then $400/month, the affordable housing crisis in Portland is solved.

So, they're an anarcho-syndicalist commune?

pst314

Clever painful deterrence for bicycle thieves

David

In search of lodgings? A tempting offer.

pst314

Duplicate posts:

Finally, for less then $400/month, the affordable housing crisis in Portland is solved.

In search of lodgings? A tempting offer.

Are you in need of coffee, David? [ voice of concern ]

David

Are you in need of coffee, David? [ voice of concern ]

Mortified.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

No doubt she will soon be cancelled, but when you are right, you are right.

pst314

Mortified.

I was indeed surprised, as I have long marveled at your ability to quickly retrieve the perfect "Somewhat Related" post from your huge archives.

pst314

The UFO is now an identified flying object:

BREAKING: U.S. military takes video of a UFO zooming above the ocean for minutes before splashing down and then emerging with a smaller UFO in its beak.

pst314

More on those UFOs, via that Scott Adams link.

Fred the Fourth

Re: seabirds v. aircraft...
Sometime in the 70s a NASA pilot was doing currency training in a Convair 340 (think DC3) at Oakland Airport (California).
This involved many touch-and-go landings.
Now, OAK is located on sort-of-ex salt marsh, so is plagued with birds.
The pilot claims that a group of gulls were hanging out among the approach lights, and were deliberately flying up into the wake turbulence left by his plane, where they were enjoying the resulting roller coaster ride.
I never discovered what the airport's bird abatement crew thought about that.

Darleen

Uh ... er ... [checks time to see if it is too early to start drinking]

pst314

From the Department of Unsurprising Data: survey shows that blacks are most racist, whites least racist.

Source here.

NTSOG

"Ladies and Gentlemen": a formal greeting going back decades which assumes that those of either sex [and a few strange ones in between] hearing the greeting are in fact polite and civilised people. It's no wonder that the wokels are offended. The notion of being polite to others and generally acting in a civilised, tolerant manner toward others - Do unto others etc. - is beyond such self-centred brats.

Again I say 'Let the cat out of its bag!'

ComputerLabRat

From the Department of Unsurprising Data: survey shows that blacks are most racist, whites least racist.

That graph just tells me that white respondents know how they're supposed to answer and are too afraid to not answer that way. That narrow range of ratings is artificial as all heck. Everybody else is allowed to answer honestly with no repercussions, and they know it. I have noticed in my time at university that students who are Chinese or Iranian have no qualms about being quite racist about black people, or at least the American-born version.

pst314

Again I say 'Let the cat out of its bag!'

Rig the grating!

WTP

Apropos of nothing...searching for videos of Monty Python skits "Spot the Looney". I seem to recall it, and I do find 3 or 4 second clips of the introduction. But no full skits. There's Cheese Shop and Funny Walks and Spanish Inquisition, and even some forgotten skit about putting things on top of other things...Hmmm...odd...

Steve E

More on those UFOs, via that Scott Adams link.

The seated gull is equipped with a ramjet and requires the other gull to get up to the proper speed before the ramjet will function.

pst314

What, in the name of all that is holy, is this?

Captain Nemo

What, in the name of all that is holy, is this?

I have no idea, but I'm willing to bet that the people involved have highly inflated opinions of themselves.

Steve E

.searching for videos of Monty Python skits "Spot the Looney"

Are you perhaps thinking of "Spot the Brain Cell?"

Alex DeWynter
That graph just tells me that white respondents know how they're supposed to answer and are too afraid to not answer that way.

I also noticed that every group felt free to slag on the ytes.

pst314

I've changed my mind. The Boy Scouts should go bankrupt and disappear: BSA Officially Supports Black Lives Matter, Adds Diversity Requirement

NTSOG

Another thought about salutations: how about 'Ladies, Gentlemen and Woke Wankers'?

This little compilation I saw this morning displays Woke Wankery at the highest level: https://twitter.com/darrengrimes_/status/1393158144570892290?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1393158144570892290%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.michaelsmithnews.com%2F

Farnsworth M Muldoon

The Boy Scouts should go bankrupt and disappear:

Is that the boy Boy Scouts, or the girl Boy Scouts ?

GandalFish

For all your best loony epithets, try Monty Pythons ‘Fish license’.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Meanwhile, Harvard faces stiff competition for most overrated university with this strong entry from Oxford.

NTSOG

Who wrote this I don't know, but I like it:

https://michaelsmithnews.typepad.com/.a/6a0177444b0c2e970d02788029f29f200d-pi

TimT

Oxford University has suggested imperial measurements should be "decolonised" over links to the British Empire.

It’s called ‘metric’.

David

Oxford University has suggested imperial measurements should be “decolonised” over links to the British Empire.

In a saner world, these clowns would be told that their behaviour is irrational and neurotic, and that all they’re doing is showing the rest of us that they’ve sold any realism and probity they may once have had.

Captain Nemo

Oxford University has suggested imperial measurements should be "decolonised" over links to the British Empire.

We don't need to decolonise anything. We do need to decretinise several things, and urgently.

pst314

Perhaps Oxford's endowment should be "decolonized" and its buildings converted into housing for "migrants" and chavs. No, on second thought better to keep the buildings and "decolonize" the professors, staff, and students--after all, the Gulf States can always use more cheap labor.

WTP

Which gulf, Persian or Mexican? We certainly don't need any more crazy here. We're full up.

pst314

Which gulf, Persian or Mexican? We certainly don't need any more crazy here. We're full up.

Heh. The sight of Oxford asshats picking tomatoes in Mexican fields would be very amusing. But we mustn't forget that poetic justice says they should experience life under the boot heel of the cruel Arabs that they idolize.

WTP

The reason I ask is here in central Florida there are a significant number of help wanted signs but businesses are managing to get by. Heading up to north Georgia next week and seeing that a good number of businesses, especially restaurants, have significantly shortened their hours because they can't find workers. This may change shortly as governor Kemp is cutting the covid unemployment supplement.

Last week we went to dinner here at a restaurant that has had trouble staffing. Our young waitress was quite good and engaging and as it was a little slow due to a private party ending and thus only a few tables for others, we got to talking with her. She had come down to FL from Virginia because her father who was living here told her how open everything was. At first she didn't believe it and early on due to a bronchial problem she had she was in terrible fear of the virus. She said that moving to FL was quite the eye-opening experience and some of her friends back home still fear for her safety here regardless of what she has told them.

John Lewis

I would prefer to see the Oxford intelligentsia on mandatory secondment to the public school system in, say, Baltimore or Philadelphia where they can teach face to face. All day every day.

Darleen

Teachers, as a group, have been particularly caught up in the irrational covid theater - some because greed (hey why not get full salary while doing a 2 or 3 hours of Zoom a day?) and others who believe the lung rot is everywhere, even in vaxxed people.

So yet another video of a teacher behaving badly, this time attacking a vaxxed student who won't wear a mask, is inevitable. What bothers me as much as her berating the kid is her manner of dress. When did bag-lady casual become appropriate in-classroom attire for teachers?

Steve E

So yet another video of a teacher behaving badly

Why is it always the people who talk about respect that are the most disrespectful?

WTP

Nowhere in this story is there an explanation as to WHY the United States of America has a law requiring cruise ships to either stop or originate in CANADA if they are bound for Alaska. WTF? How/what justification might that be and especially WTH does an article that goes on for some 20 or more paragraphs fail to explain this?

https://www.adn.com/politics/2021/05/13/us-senate-allows-alaska-bound-cruise-ships-to-bypass-canada-house-action-could-allow-summer-cruises-this-year/

pst314

Nowhere in this story is there an explanation as to WHY the United States of America has a law requiring cruise ships to either stop or originate in CANADA if they are bound for Alaska. WTF?

Very strange indeed. Most cruise ships are foreign-flagged, and American law prohibits foreign flagged ships from taking passengers directly from one American port to another American port. Thus, these cruise ships add a stop at a Canadian port.

Uma Thurmond's Feet

American law prohibits foreign flagged ships from taking passengers directly from one American port to another American port.

True, which drove American companies to flag their ships outside the U.S. A prime example of the law of unintended consequences.

pst314

A prime example of the law of unintended consequences.

Indeed.

WTP

American law prohibits foreign flagged ships from taking passengers directly from one American port to another American port. Thus, these cruise ships add a stop at a Canadian port.

Ah...had forgotten about that. Yes, "protectionism" that results in exporting economic activity. Of course the article could have clarified it that way. Maybe it did and I misread it but I can't get back to the article to verify. As I recall it sounded like there was a specific law written to require this directly.

WTP

OK, got back in...here's the sentence...

The act would temporarily exempt large Alaska-bound cruise ships from the Passenger Vessel Services Act, which requires those ships to either stop in Canada or start their voyages in Canada. The exemption would end in February 2022.
Now I'm guessing, or as I recall, that the law clearly refers to foreign flagged vessels not just any cruise ship as seems to be stated (lost access again). Either way, quality journalism to go along with our quality government. Is it any wonder they get along together so well?

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