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July 16, 2021

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anon a mouse

So, stopped at a nearby Wegmans (well, near to where I was visiting), and listened to a customer rather forcefully enquire about cream, specifically "organic,vegan, non-dairy, fat free, half and half"

So, racist or not?

I admit, I did stare, a bit. And yes, she was a woman of pallor...

Steve E

"organic,vegan, non-dairy, fat free, half and half"

Mix a little Coffee Mate with water, put it in a mason jar, have a six year old make a label, tie a piece of dyed jute in a bow around the jar and give it too her. She'll never know the difference.

Daniel Ream

At last, bendy ice

Those ****ers are going to invent Ice-9, aren't they.

Steve E

Those ****ers are going to invent Ice-9, aren't they.

I've always suspected you were a closet Bokononist. To us Tralfamadorians, Bokononism is so déclassé.

TimT

So, stopped at a nearby Wegmans (well, near to where I was visiting), and listened to a customer rather forcefully enquire about cream, specifically "organic,vegan, non-dairy, fat free, half and half"

I'm reminded of the time my wife and I stopped into a vegan cafe in Berlin - you know, in the time when such international forays were allowed us wretched peons - and I surveyed the limp selection of pastries on offer (very disappointing for a German place). 'Um, haben Sie etwas met Sahne?' 'Do you have anything with cream?' I inquired, haplessly - hoping beyond hope that there would be a vegan imitation cream on offer, at least.

Their looks were *very* surly.

Ray

One armed weight lifter.

That is the most impressive thing I have ever seen. Ever.

Liz

Sainthood suggested. || Higher power.

I see what you did there.

Liz

And finally, nommy-nommy-nom.

Now humming it. :-)

David

Morning, all.

Now humming it.

It’s not disagreeable.

Rafi

Her pronouns are more complicated than yours.

"It's fine..." [Narrator: It was not fine.]

Richard Cranium

Yeah. The liveliness 2 link shows people *recording* the behavior but not doing anything to stop it.

It appears to me that those people who are recording this stuff have been insulated from reality for their entire lives that they are unable to comprehend, well, reality itself.

David

[Narrator: It was not fine.]

Ah, but apparently we’re supposed to empathise with, and even admire, someone who goes out of her way to take umbrage with certain pronouns depending on whether the person saying them is sufficiently “queer.” Because straight people using the same pronouns, about the same person, with the same intent, is somehow a basis for resentment and disdain. An excuse to be bitter.

In other news, today’s words are insufferable narcissism and rationalised malice.

And it seems we mustn’t expect reciprocation or consistency from our self-imagined betters. If you poke through Ms Kala’s TikTok feed, you’ll see that she insists, quite haughtily, that “assuming someone’s gender based on their presentation is inherently a problem,” something to chastise, and yet she happily assumes the gender of the “white men” she triumphantly disdains.

As Jim Goad said a while ago,

So many of these multitudinous oppressed “identities” seem like nothing more than cheap cloaks to mask nakedly annoying personalities.

And so, when people choose to avoid Ms Kala’s presence, she can presumably explain this away as some kind of bigotry, and the fault entirely the other person’s, rather than the more obvious explanation, i.e., that she, as a self-involved walking cliché who boasts of disliking straight people, and straight white men in particular, is actually quite obnoxious.

Richard Cranium

If only the "straight white man" had responded to Ms. Kala's comments with "How do you think you came to be upon this world?".

Jen

Her pronouns are more complicated than yours.

"Please help me tell off the white people"

So she's a racist *and* an idiot.

David

So she’s a racist *and* an idiot.

I’m guessing she’s been severely educated, possibly at great expense. Which would explain why, despite the pretensions of radicalism, it’s the same wearyingly predictable trajectory.

And so, for instance, our pierced and tattooed bint scorns “that tone old white men use when they believe themselves beyond reproach,” which is a bit rich. Not least given Ms Kala’s own chosen tone, and chosen mannerisms – in effect, an unending eye-roll - both of which signal an assumed moral imperviousness. And given the fact that she didn’t deem the response of this “old white man” even worth listening to. Him being an old white man, you see.

Karl

Her pronouns are more complicated than yours.

I suppose it was an inevitable function creep that the bedlamites would begin constructing different personalised lists of pronouns to give to each individual they meet depending on how zer interpreted zek.

Fortunately for me I identify as someone who doesn't "see" gender. So your pronouns are it/.

Karl

organic,vegan, non-dairy, fat free, half and half

Hmmm. Half what though??

Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat

Half cream, half milk.

PiperPaul

people *recording* the behavior but not doing anything to stop it

I've become cynical enough that I figure a substantial percentage of these types of events are staged for the camera so as to send a message.

TimT

Her pronouns are more complicated than yours.

It just seems like passive aggression given a superficial rationalisation.

TimT

Possible freeze ray detected.

David

It just seems like passive aggression given a superficial rationalisation.

It usually does. Such is wokeness.

PiperPaul

cheap cloaks to mask nakedly annoying psychopathic personalities

Burnsie

So she's a racist *and* an idiot.

Comparing a mask to a condom is, in fact, stupidity on stilts. But she does seem awfully proud of that ridiculous analogy, nonetheless.

Stephanie Richer

Sainthood

Later this month I will be assisting with the exhumation of an individual for whom a cause for sainthood has been opened with the Vatican. It is a slow process - the cause, that is - because canonization is not conferred lightly. As a point of trivia, it is with a cause that we get the term the Devil's Advocate as a canon lawyer is appointed to that role to find reason NOT to confer sainthood.

And they call us mackerel snappers a "cult."

pst314

Sainthood suggested.

Note, by the way, the name of the Twitter feed in the link: "Mythinformed Milwaukee": The city has a serious problem with black dysfunctionality and, to perpetuate and increase the widespread black paranoia, has a (privately owned) "Black Holocaust Museum" and a public high school for "troubled" youths where the curriculum includes very large amounts of black racialist propaganda.

pst314

So how do you “embody being neuro-queer”?

Listening to those people is torture.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

So how do you “embody being neuro-queer”?

Good news, found her a roomie.

Meanwhile, in five minutes, the decline of the west explained. The gentleman in the video, BTW, is the leader of the Black Hammer nuts who were going to build New Wakanda in Colorado.

pst314

Pool 2.0

Think of it as socialist pool: Guaranteed equality of results!

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Think of it as socialist pool: Guaranteed equality of results!

Needs red felt so it can be a companion game to The Peoples Cube™ !

Meanwhile, as if you didn't need another reason not to fly Jet Blue.

pst314

I suppose it was an inevitable function creep that the bedlamites would begin constructing different personalised lists of pronouns to give to each individual they meet depending on how zer interpreted zek.

They want to turn us all into zeks.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

pst - sorry, for some reason your link wasn't working for me.

I will report to The Duplicate Post Room of Shame.

MaDuece

I imagine the pronoun "it" would suffice in cases where a straight person may not appreciate its presentation.

pst314

Meanwhile, as if you didn't need another reason not to fly Jet Blue.

A further look at that Twitter feed yields a link to the source of those photos.

pst314

I will report to The Duplicate Post Room of Shame.

Actually, I am pleased that you posted that photo. A definite improvement.

Best not to voluntarily report: I heard whispering that David is thinking of equipping the correction booth with speakers playing endless loops of people reciting their pronouns.

pst314

I imagine the pronoun "it" would suffice...

Or "them", depending on how many distinct personalities reside in one skull.

anon a mouse

So your pronouns are it/."

You forgot the "sh" portion.

I favor "y'all" or "hey you dips***t m**th**f***g sh**weasel a**muncher"

Depends on the situation, you understand.

Squires

...it’s the same wearyingly predictable trajectory.

These people are the squarest Karens of all.

Mags

These people are the squarest Karens of all.

That.

WTP

So how do you “embody being neuro-queer”?

There's a common thread here with people who are not very good at the near infinite number of existing games or sports so they run about inventing new complex games or sports where they now have an advantage via intrinsic knowledge of the rules and strategies. Lawyers and HR departments come to mind as well.

WTP

Just got to the Pool 2.0 link. As I was saying...

sH2

'Students were confused as to why people in other countries were flying the American flag. "I mean we don't represent a socialist government...so I don't know why they would wave the flag. I'm not sure honestly," one student said.'

https://www.campusreform.org/article?id=17811

Steve E

Meanwhile, as if you didn't need another reason not to fly Jet Blue.

Male flight attendants with stubble in dresses.

Band name

Governor Squid

London liveliness.

A commenter in that thread asserts that the lorry driver was drunk, and while running away from the cops managed to hit some bikers. If those bikers were the ones pulling the drunk out of his seat and administering some street justice, I'm inclined to let it slide.

I've said before that the destruction of the modern professional police force means that we'll simply return to the old-fashioned amateur police force, and that the results might be somewhat messy. It's not my preferred outcome, but all the Wise Progressives are pushing for it, so I guess it must be an improvement.

There's more where that came from!

Governor Squid

Not everything is a band name, guys. A lot of these are more properly album or song titles.

That was "Male Flight Attendants with Stubble in Dresses," by the Male-Appearing Genitalia, from their best-selling album Schrödinger's Cock. Appearing this August at the Nakedly Annoying Personality Festival!

"Students were confused..."

I was initially despondent that the commies had finally succeeded in driving the last vestiges of national pride from our youth, but then I saw that the interviews were performed in the District of Columbia as opposed to the USA. There may still be hope!

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Band name

Too long, now Stubble In Dresses, OTOH...

WTP

Those ****ers are going to invent Ice-9, aren't they.

A company I worked for in the early 90's had a project, and I think the product itself, named Ice-9. Don't recall the purpose of the thing though. Likely something to do with billing or check imaging/processing.

WTP

One armed weight lifter.

That is the most impressive thing I have ever seen. Ever.

All the more impressive when you consider how little spare time he gets away from his paper hanging job.

...No time to grab my coat...just let it burn...

WTP

Yeah...I'm back...as I said, let it burn. The fleas and lice were beginning to get under my skin anyway...anyway...

I suppose it was an inevitable function creep that the bedlamites would begin constructing different personalised lists of pronouns to give to each individual they meet depending on how zer interpreted zek.

Y'all do understand that this is simply a function of surrendering to their initial absurdity of giving in to their demands to be addressed by whatever pronouns they chose? Because you surrendered that ground, they advance to seize new territory. Of which a sufficient number (majority?) of people will again cave. And the march goes on. They've conquered the institutions. They are coming for you. The Last Chance To Speak Up train is slowly pulling out of the station.

David

Speaking of trajectories.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

LARPing the Holomodor, and other assorted commies...

ComputerLabRat

Clicking the Twit links in the comments and notice the Twit sidebar thingie that has the latest greatest "What's Happening" twit links. Today's was "Experts say masks are safe and effective against spreading COVID19". wtf. It's 2021 and the piles of bodies in the streets still haven't happened. Nobody's going door to door clanging a bell and yelling "Bring out yer dead!". They are really grasping at straws here to keep the panic going. What disturbs me most is that a so-called advanced society is more superstitious and easily-led than the most illiterate medieval peasants. They at least had a clue about survival.

The tictoc videos in the Ephemera links and comments - life is so easy and times so good that these bedlamites have to crawl up their own asses to find shit to whine about. Third person pronouns - the height of narcissistic wankery, and insisted upon by the same people who probably think requiring proper English grammar and spelling is racist.

David

Men enjoying conversations about sports are merely displaying “how heteropatriarchy harms men too.” Apparently.

[ Added: ]

By the way, Mr Boggs, an assistant professor of rhetoric, and whiner about “settler colonialism,” is quite proud of his smug, incongruous in-butting. Imagining himself as superior to people in “random sports forums” is his buzz, it seems.

Daniel Ream

Third person pronouns - the height of narcissistic wankery

As I think has been pointed out before, such pronouns are only used when not addressing the performatively mentally ill person directly. They want to dictate how you talk about them when they're not even in the room.

Squires

...Mr Boggs, an assistant professor of rhetoric, and whiner about “settler colonialism,” is quite proud...

Best response:

https://mobile.twitter.com/NHiriteInSouth/status/1416108379521622016

ComputerLabRat

Men enjoying conversations about sports are merely displaying “how heteropatriarchy harms men too.” Apparently.

What a maroon, as Bugs Bunny used to say. I still want to know if that arrogant twit is related to Wade Boggs* or not. I'm gonna bet having that surname is the source of his anger towards men enjoying sports talk, and his urge to drop stinking nuggets of postmodern gibberish into sports conversations.

*For those that don't know, Wade Boggs is a former American baseball player - think he was with the Red Sox when I was a teen. Traitor went to the New York Yankees in the '90s and won a World Series.

Baceseras

In or out of context, is there any phrase funnier than "decades of gender/sexuality research"?

Also, can't you just hear him pronouncing the "/"?

semi retired conservative

Too long, now Stubble In Dresses, OTOH...

I had a girlfriend from Quebec once that during the summer would let her....

oh, never mind.

pst314

...Mr Boggs, an assistant professor of rhetoric, and whiner about “settler colonialism,” is quite proud...

Boggs standard opinionating.

WTP

Heh. Boggs always amused me by how his hitting would improve whenever his wife got wind of his dalliances. When Chuck Knoblauch was having trouble throwing to first base, I wondered if the Yankees maybe thought about gettIng him a little strange.

Tal

Men enjoying conversations about sports...

This is one of these.

Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat

Every man I’ve ever known: “We don’t NEED no stinkin’ social permission!” And that includes the ones uninterested in sportsball. The men of my generation, and the one following, just don’t seem to have an invisible Karen leaning over their shoulders.

I’m starting to think the roots of Woke are threefold.

1). A need for something resembling a religion, with the accompanying thou-shalt-nots.
2). The human need for hierarchy.
3). The essentially feminine mind of the Wokester. This makes item 2 complicated. Male hierarchies tend to be simple—the guy at the top has the most of whatever’s valuable (women, cattle, land, religious authority) and everyone else shakes out accordingly, till at the bottom you have the poor unmarried cowless layman who sleeps under the bridge. Or the guy at the top is the best at whatever’s most important—hunting, fighting, capitalist-ing, negotiating, you name it. Female hierarchies aren’t like that. Female hierarchies are fluid, shifting constantly. Females do not ignore the practical considerations, but those come into play when the group ‘s forming. Men tend to look at other men as parts of a broadly defined group : all the guys I work with, all my neighbors, all the guys I deal with, the teenage boys who hang out on the corner, the guys I hunt with, and so on, and then each member of each group is ranked within its hierarchy. Female groups are much narrower in admittance standards. The wives of the rich guys. The large clan of female relatives. The Woke knitting circle (there actually was one). The top lady is the one who adheres most closely to shifting standards within the group—standards MUST shift constantly because otherwise there’s no way to rank members, since the group is lacking an objective standard like “most businesses owned “ or “most points scored in games “ or “has prettiest, youngest harem.” So, no matter how Woke you are, the standard of Wokeness you must attain will always be out there. Other group members don’t mind because, while they may be kept from becoming Queen Bee, so will most of the others, and there’s always potential for the current Queen Bee to be dethroned. (This kind of behavior is also known as crab-in-a-bucket—If one crab looks like it may climb out, the others pull it back down rather than following it out.)

Neither of these ways of forming hierarchies are inherently wrong—humanity is as it is. But the complicated female method is not as good in running a business or an army as is the relatively simple male method, and this is why Wokesters are so disruptive.

David

Look away now.

David

They want to dictate how you talk about them when they’re not even in the room.

The presumption and self-preoccupation are hard to miss. Viewed in terms of consistency, reciprocation, and endless observable facts, wokeness rarely makes much sense. It very often seems contrived and perverse. But if you think of it as the expression of some interior psychodrama, it becomes a little easier to comprehend.

Mike D

Look away now.

That's breakfast ruined.

David

That’s breakfast ruined.

In my defence, I did warn you.

Ray

WTP,
Your age is showing. Perhaps you also recall Demot Kelly, Arthur Haines' one armed dish washer?

John Lewis

John J Macreedy was pretty impressive.

Felicity

Meanwhile, deeper in the simulation, we are introduced to Brie.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9780673/Campaigner-says-weight-loss-adverts-fatphobic-calls-banned-online.html
She tells us that “weight loss culture can lead to depression, social anxiety, and even body dysmorphia” (non-sequitur?). Of course, all of this fat shaming disproportionately disadvantages black and Asian plus sized models.

David

She tells us that “weight loss culture can lead to depression, social anxiety, and even body dysmorphia”

Call me indelicate, but it occurs to me that the ultimate cause is more likely to be weight gain than weight loss.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

John J Macreedy was pretty impressive.

If we are doing fictional disabilities, hard to beat a headless Thompson gunner.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

'Weight loss adverts are fatphobic in exactly the same way that adverts for gay conversion therapy are homophobic,'

Maybe things are different in Oxford, England than in Oxford, Mississippi, but I am having a hard time recalling any "gay conversion therapy" ads in the media or online on this side of the Atlantic. Unlike the olden days, not like you could be thrown in jail for being fat, but than I guess making yourself feel heroic is more important than fact. Surprised she didn't compare gyms to the KKK.

'Adverts for weight loss products contribute hugely to the body shaming culture on social media, which is full of posts promoting "beach ready bodies" and other unachievable beauty standards', said Brie.

If they are "unachievable", where do the models in the adverts come from ?

'That’s why it’s so important that more brands and high profile individuals use their platforms to put out supportive, responsible, inclusive content.' think the way I do...

Call me indelicate, but there is a tad bit of a difference between "a little overweight" fat and "so big I need a sponge on a stick to wipe myself" fat, and there is no reason to "support" that (unless you are in the business of oversize cast iron toilets).

anon a mouse

introduced to Brie

I'd say she was introduced to a whole lot of brie. And more.

WTP

WTP,
Your age is showing. Perhaps you also recall Demot Kelly, Arthur Haines' one armed dish washer?

Yes, unfortunately no. Did look up Arthur Haines (couldn't find much on Kelley in video) and found a funny bit he did with Michael Cain. Though the accent was a bit much for me only in that it messed with the timing of the jokes.

While we're covering one-armed men, sportyball, age, etc I was reminded of baseball pitcher Jim Abbott.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

At the Vagina Museum we only use gender neutral language.

By using gender-neutral language, we normalise the idea that anyone can menstruate regardless of their gender.

Honk, but with a diesel locomotive air horn.

Uma Thurmond's Feet

It's nice to see American comic strips join the propaganda campaign by pretending there's a solution to racist police brutality that didn't involve "electing" Biden. Irony alert: The police department he's referring to is the Philadelphia P.D.

Uma Thurmond's Feet

Best response:

This one's pretty good, too.

Uma Thurmond's Feet

I hope closing the ital this way works.

anon a mouse

we normalise the idea that anyone can menstruate regardless of their gender.

It's rather nice that the interwebz allows all to see how Aunt Pat and Uncle Bob, who were once isolated in their little abode, actually thought, no?

Farnsworth m Muldoon

we normalise the idea that anyone can menstruate regardless of their gender.

Missed this earlier...

Redacted* @iamredacted

Replying to
@vagina_museum

Will you be changing your name to Front Hole Museum too?

Heh.

Liam

anyone can menstruate regardless of their gender

*tries to menstruate*
*fails*

pst314

At the Vagina Museum we only use gender neutral language...By using gender-neutral language, we normalise the idea that anyone can menstruate regardless of their gender.

Pussy hats, pussy costumes, and now a woke Vagina Museum. I do sometimes wonder what fraction of Western women are, well, bugf*ck crazy.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Meanwhile, we learn that trans people are a disproportionate number of the working class, and an interesting take on getting out of being arrested.

Speaking of the museum...

dcardno

I see your pool 2.0, and raise:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsTTXYxydOE

Long, but worth it (for a certain class on engineering nerd)

WTP

Long, but worth it (for a certain class on engineering nerd)

I watched the whole thing. Nobody was wearing a mask.

WTP

Snark aside, thanks for that. I wonder at the patience of some people to spend weeks at such efforts with no obvious gain on any near term level. I lack the patience to take on an endeavor that either cannot be finished inside of a week or for which I am not getting an obvious paycheck at some point in the near future. That was one of my main frustrations with going to school. Though thinking about it again...I say this having recently worked for a startup that didn't pay me for weeks/months at a time.

As a pool player, it was a tad painful to watch in places. Liked the "wife mode". Though as a ex-coder/engineer, I'm wondering how much of that was driven at some level by a desire to have not wasted the code he had written.

dcardno

I am amazed by the range of skills on display - can you imagine thinking to yourself: "I think I'll take on a little project that will require computer vision, optical correction, accurate location sensing, some pneumatics, fabricating a six-axis motion base, and augmented-reality video projection. Oh, I'll also need to program a physics simulation engine (just wait until he tries to incorporate spin), a pool shot-prioritization / selection routine, and a generalized pool-strategy module."

Though as a ex-coder/engineer, I'm wondering how much of that was driven at some level by a desire to have not wasted the code he had written.
Heh - I think that might've been part of it, yes.

Jay Guevara

Never mind my pronouns. My coordinates are (0,0,0). And don't you dare miscoordinate me.

anon a mouse

"we'll simply return to the old-fashioned amateur police force"

Ah yes. Privateers, anyone?

*checks ammo supply*

pst314

Ah yes. Privateers, anyone?

Likely to include the urban equivalent of Q-ships.

pst314

"we'll simply return to the old-fashioned amateur police force"

Likely to eliminate this sort of farcical justice.

Uma Thurmond's Feet

The pool video was awesome. This is a guy who enjoys solving problems and creating stuff. Sure, the debugging part was painful, but he remembers that on the other side is bliss. That's the essence of faith.

pst314

[ Unwraps aromatic waxed paper package ]

Seems like David has gone to bed. Throw those sausage rolls in the trash and have some of this imported German salami. Guaranteed 100% meat...from the approved parts of a named animal.

Lady Cutekitten of Lolcat

If you wade through this verbiage

https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/bookselling/article/86883-booksellers-denounce-aba-promotion-of-anti-trans-book.html

you will find somebody who “identifies “ as a “queer, Latino, fat-bodied person.” Maybe he should add “fat-headed” to the list.

Their wordiness is really annoying. This guy, for example—why does he have to be “fat-bodied”? Why can’t he just be fat like every other non-svelte person? I know, I know, he’s jockeying for feminine status points—but can’t that be done more succinctly? I hate unnecessary verbosity. It’s so pompous.

Richard Cranium
I lack the patience to take on an endeavor that either cannot be finished inside of a week or for which I am not getting an obvious paycheck at some point in the near future.

Oh crap. Nerdish stuff follows. Do not be operating a vehicle while reading/listening to the following.

Well, my second career is software weasel (I personally like that over software engineer, but people will look at you with an odd expression on their face when you use it.) and I have spent a fair bit of my own time writing a Netbeans application that ran under Linux (as written, but could theoretically run on other operating systems that where you could register other implementations of the APIs which defined how the modules communicated with each other) which measured my heart rate from a Bluetooth heart monitor while exercising and showed graphs of how far along I was on exercising within a given target heart rate for the given total period of time.

At some point, you do things like this because those things are interesting to you or they scratch an itch that you may have. (I'm not self-employed, so I'll point out that anyone who is self-employed may very well view such actions as either frippery or potlach, since every such hour spent on such things could have been billable.)

Now, as a software weasel, my costs are pretty cheap. I'm not buying microcontrollers and I'm not buying cameras or whatever. I am eating disk space and hours of my life (the latter are limited, even though humans tend to act as if that isn't the case). Even so, I was able to write something that I found useful and did what I wanted.

pst314

We should all applaud these three public spirited Irishmen who did their part to reduce crime in Dublin.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

We should all applaud these three public spirited Irishmen...

Named locally as Graham Taylor, 31, Carl Freeman, 26, and Dean Maguire, 29, they had more than 200 convictions between them.

Nice to see the Irish courts are as feckless as most over here, even if they were turning their lives around, aspiring river dancers, going to community college to study astronuclearbiochemical particle physics, etc., etc.

Richard Cranium
Likely to include the urban equivalent of Q-ships.

Q-ships were a wonderful way to teach the Germans how to disdain the laws of naval warfare.

Darleen

"I DON'T HAVE TO BE PEACEFUL!!"

Daniel Ream

software weasel (I personally like that over software engineer

I'm an actual software engineer, and since I started out in conventional (chemical) engineering I prefer that term over "programmer", "coder", or "developer" as it better describes what people who make software actually do.

At some point, you do things like this because those things are interesting to you or they scratch an itch that you may have.

You'd have to, given that you can buy a Fitbit for about $50. That would just about pay for the time it would take me to download and install a hardware SDK.

One of the most pernicious anti-patterns in software engineering is Reinventing the Square Wheel. The perception that because software engineering doesn't consume physical resources then developer time is free is unfortunately commonplace.

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