Or You Could Go Full Cronenberg

MoZaic Care, a cosmetic surgery provider in San Francisco, California, offers a “nullification” procedure that “removes external genitalia while preserving a urethral opening and anal opening.” The same company offers a procedure called “phalgina,” or “penile preservation vaginoplasty,” which allows males who identify as transgender or non-binary to install a facsimile of a vagina while retaining the penis.

In the company literature, the words “gender affirming” are used. Seemingly without irony. 

For those determined to behold the fruits of “nullification,” “phallus-preserving vaginoplasty,” “vagina-preserving phalloplasty” and other surgical adventures, photos can be found. However, needless to say, search at your peril.

And remember, dear readers, “Genital preferences are transphobic.”

Also, open thread. 

Comments

[Watcher In The Dark]

which allows males who identify as transgender or non-binary to install a facsimile of a vagina while retaining the penis.

I resent the sneering cries of 'Having your cake and eating it.' Most unfair!

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

But they are powered by magnets, right?

Magnets and orgone. The more expensive ones used to use radium, but they have switched to phlogiston for safety.

I believe they're doing some interesting things with buckyballs though.

You may have misspelled "basketballs".

Agree to disagree.

Hemispheres, Sam, hemispheres. Other shapes/sizes can be debated.

[pst314]

Looks all natural to me...

I suppose it would be unkind to tell "her" that "she" looks positively creepy, but did no one try to dissuade him beforehand with the warning that such surgery would be disastrous? Perhaps he accepted as friends only those who shared or affirmed his delusions. Folie a deux, more or less.

[Sam]

I selflessly and thoroughly researched Farnsworth's assertion on the internet and can with confidence say he is correct. If you disagree with me as a citizen breast researcher you're not only attacking Sam, you're attacking science.

[pst314]

She was, perhaps, better known as the human Ken doll.

"Human Ken Doll" sounds familiar. I think he/she was mentioned once before on this blog, or perhaps on Instapundit.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

I selflessly and thoroughly researched Farnsworth's assertion on the internet...

Truly Sam is to be applauded for taking a hands-on approach problems like this that loom large and require support from Science™.

Barkeep, a couple of jugs of your finest for Sam.

[ComputerLabRat]

Barkeep, a couple of jugs of your finest for Sam.

I see what you did there. Way to keep abreast of the situation, Muldoon.

[pst314]

Hemispheres, Sam, hemispheres. Other shapes/sizes can be debated.

That reminds me, perhaps incongruously, of an acerbic criticism I once read of Heavy Metal that its women tended to have breasts like casaba melons.

[pst314]

Barkeep, a couple of jugs of your finest for Sam.

Eggnog, Irish cream, and milk punch, presumably.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Eggnog, Irish cream, and milk punch, presumably.

More likely Night Nurse, Night Train, and liquid floor wax - it's the good stuff, actually has alcohol.

[pst314]

it's the good stuff, actually has alcohol.

But the topic at hand requires that milk be an ingredient, served in huge jugs.

[pst314]

Speaking of madness... "I hold a knife to your throat and spit my transness into your ear." (from a paper presented at the London School of Economics, via Andy Ngo) Academia has yet to be held to account for its embrace of murderous evils.

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

But the topic at hand requires that milk be an ingredient, served in huge jugs.

The real stuff costs money which is a squeeze these days, the liquid floor wax is the ersatz substitute.

[pst314]

The real stuff costs money which is a squeeze these days

I'm sure David could save money buying milk past its sell-by date. Probably from the same source that supplies his sausages.

[anon a mouse]

I believe that would make it macademia.

Well, that's just nuts.

*ducks*

[TomJ]

I was going to share the LSE wibble, so instead a contribution to the thread's other pressing debate.

The source has proved accurate in other areas, so we can consider the case closed.

[Sam's Big Jugs and Dirty Sausage LLC]

We'll all be getting the ol hamster urine treatment here before long.

[Steve E]

I selflessly and thoroughly researched Farnsworth's assertion on the internet...

I believe this to be Sam demonstrating his sure-fire breast examination technique.

[Baceseras]

Cape Fear School of Economics

[Steve E]

Well, that's just nuts.

*ducks*

I thought you wouldn't be able to resist. I almost dedicated the post to you.

[Cloudbuster]

From Twitter feed of a commenter on the Iron Man link:

New Vegas Anarchist @AnarchistNew Jul 6
Make homeschooling illegal

"Anarchist"

"Make homeschooling illegal"

I have no words.

[WTP]

So in regard to the Olympics and the Simone Biles gymnastics controversy…now whether you buy into her current issues or not…

Where are all the cries of raaaaacism now? Not that technically such applies to this either but according to the ridiculously low bar that has been set for raaaaacism, this idiotic idea that, well she's just too good and that's not fair (hidden in a pathetic excuse of "someone might get hurt if they try it") fits that racism bill much, much better than 95% of what gets paraded before us every day. As we all know, racism isn’t the real issue. The incompetents of the world are lording over the competent. How much clearer does it have to be?

[Farnsworth M Muldoon]

Meanwhile in California, Oregon, Washington, Colorado, and Vermont, the power and light company SWAT team warns you, nobody needs a high powered assault PC.

[Richard Cranium]

@WTP, everyone has a well that contains your ability to suck it down and drive on. When the bucket comes up full, you suck it down and drive on. When it comes up empty, you're done.

Been near there, done something like that. (Albeit without any Olympic gold medals nor with the "greatest of all time" symbol on what I was wearing.)

It may be the case that Ms. Biles finally realized that she had proven to herself what she could do and didn't think that the current iteration would tell her anything new about her abilities to herself. In other words, her "suck it down" well went dry.

That is certainly something that she could have decided prior to the Olympics; I've certainly thought that about the after effects when my "suck it down" well went dry. The tell will be what she says when people ask her. I'm not holding my breath.

[asiaseen]

milk be an ingredient

The Milk of Human Kindness no doubt?

[asiaseen]

More womanly than a woman

In the Orient, notably Thailand,that does seem to be a truism. If you see a stunningly beautiful woman the chances are it will be a katoey, or ladyboy. Of course, if you don't check the throat and hands, then when it comes to the nitty-gritty the illusion will be shattered (or so I'm told by a friend).

[Daniel Ream]

The source has proved accurate in other areas

It's been a source of great amusement for me over the years that everyone, including Rob Reiner, misses that The Princess Bride is supposed to be a scathing satirical indictment of romantic fantasy.

[WTP]

Yeah. I said "whether you buy into her current issues or not". Perhaps I needed to be clearer. I see that since I wrote that everyone is having the vapors over her having the vapors. Again, not my point. What I meant was that here was someone who developed a routine that was so difficult, no one in the world can do it. Actually THREE such maneuvers. But the world gymnastics commies will not properly recognize the incredible effort and talent under the wimpy excuse that someone might get hurt if they try it.