David Thompson
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August 27, 2021

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NTSOG

... a job that’s perhaps not for everyone.

Brings to mind this by Stan Cross in 1933:

https://halloffame.melbournepressclub.com/uploads/Inductees/Other_sizes/Victorian_Inductees/Stan_Cross/Stan_Cross_For_Gorsake_stop_laughing.jpg

pst314

All dogs will receive odometer implants. So we can check."

Daniel Ream

All dogs will receive odometer implants. So we can check.

“the most insane idea that a ministry has ever come up with in living memory,”

...says a German newspaper.

Richard Cranium

Having been knocked out for a few seconds (long enough to hit the mat after a roundhouse to my left jaw during plebe boxing) and having had 2 concussions as well (first in a car wreck and the second due to passing out while sitting on a bench over a concrete floor in the Hohenfels training area due to ~1 hour sleep a night for 2 to 3 weeks), yeah, it's hard to knock someone out with no damage.

While I did jump back up in the ring (I absolutely had to pass boxing else I would have failed out of West Point due to failing gymnastics earlier), a couple of hours later in German class, I noticed that my eyes were no longer tracked anything (i.e., moving my head was like moving a camera) and I was blacking out. So probably 3 concussions in total.

Richard Cranium

Of course, I was unconscious after the car wreck and the head slam on the concrete floor. Forgot to mention that. See what concussions do to you? :)

WTP

Entertain me, I dare you.

I'm working on the perfect song for the 21st century. I'm calling it Your Momma Don't Dance Because Your Daddy's Got A Squeezebox So Your Uncle Don't Sleep At Night. Well, that's the title anyway. I'll work on the rest of it when I sober up in the morning.

Squires

I'll work on the rest of it when I sober up in the morning.

Why wait? One of the more entertaining ditties a close friend ever made was a Sonny & Cher cover he recorded and mixed while blackout drunk. He woke up the next morning, and it was just there:

https://youtu.be/VGGpVxSGkRg

JuliaM

"a job that’s perhaps not for everyone; an inn of note"

I guess we know where the first guy clocks off for a cold one!

Rafi

whether eyeballs bounce

For science!

David

Morning, all.

Hardcore protestor.

On inadequate towels.

David

Oh-oh, it’s Bad Girl Julia. Don’t make her cross. She’ll shiv you like it’s nothing.

John Lewis

Blubberpuss should just buy 2 standard sized bathsheets and sew them together. Maybe 3 to be on the safe side.

sH2

Today's words are "F*ck Verizon"...

https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/470166/

David

Blubberpuss should just buy 2 standard sized bathsheets and sew them together.

It seems to me that if an oversize bath towel is still too small, the problem may not be the towel, but what you’re trying to fit in it. Still, she gets points for having learned the tone and body language of performative indignation.

And if our weighty wonder didn’t make a theatrical fuss about towel sizes and how oppressive they are, she might have to consider her own poor choices and where they’ve taken her. And so, it has to be the world’s fault, those evil towel conglomerates.

Hopp Singg

You can use an "undersized" towel, dearie. Believe me, no one will look.

Felicity

All dogs will receive odometer implants. So we can check.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3EBs7sCOzo

Horace Dunn

Blubberpuss: "So ... I've been on a journey, to, like, redo my spaces that I live in."

What she means is, she's been redecorating her flat.

Why can't these people just talk normally? Is it any wonder that they struggle to fit in?

Nobby

evil towel conglomerates.

Band name.

David

yeah, it’s hard to knock someone out with no damage.

Yes, unlike the tidy convenience of the films, it seems the margin between, on the one hand, “Ow, that really hurt,” and on the other, serious brain injury is actually quite small.

Tranquiliser darts are clearly the way to go.

Stephanie Richer

I would have taken human shuabu shabu as appropriate karma but this will do.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9929305/Connecticut-woman-walked-trail-geyser-Yellowstone-sentenced-week-jail.html?fbclid=IwAR2sGxGB7YBM2DIc9-hSbkN2QvKXKED6-7ZA4DcJDomZqU6LvDIjaE2M9xM

God, I can smell her pictures, the nasty hippy.

I live near and often work in one of our great national parks and tourists can try my patience.

Peter J

whether eyeballs bounce

I learned something today.

David

I learned something today.

So remember. When falling from a great height, always land on your eyes.

Stephanie Richer

“Suddenly they were both leaping around him, shouting 'Traitor!' and 'Thought-criminal!', the little girl imitating her brother in every movement. It was somehow slightly frightening, like the gamboling of tiger cubs which will soon grow up into man-eaters.”

-- George Orwell, "1984"

https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/1431183328950980609?s=20

Farnsworth M Muldoon

All dogs will receive odometer implants. So we can check.

From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check.

...the problem may not be the towel, but what you’re trying to fit in it.

Out of morbid curiosity I had to look, the largest bath towel Target™ sells is 65 inches wide, so yeah. Maybe the beach towel section, they'll go a good six feet.

Captain Nemo

This week in cretinry:

https://twitter.com/thenursemattie/status/1430847255699918850

David

This week in cretinry:

“Nursing student.” “@LibDems.”

WTP

Why can't these people just talk normally?

No one talks normally anymore. Cliche poetry is the thing now. I even see engineers talking like this. You didn't "go on a journey" you just got a new job...or had a baby...or...life. Trying to think of the other one that makes me roll my eyes lately...

Also, in the unnecessarily-fancy-and-tiresome word category (think 'nonplussed'), I've been running into a good bit of 'eschew' lately. Who promotes this crap? It's like awkward product placement in movies.

WTP

shuabu shabu

"Two of the three in the group, police said, were drinking White Claws when they were apprehended "

pst314

God, I can smell her pictures, the nasty hippy.

Did you notice her "think wisely" tattoo? Smug, stupid hippy.

pst314

Oh-oh, it’s Bad Girl Julia. Don’t make her cross. She’ll shiv you like it’s nothing.

Details here, for those who are not familiar with her blog. Really, our nations are increasingly run by people who bear a certain resemblance to Joseph Stalin.

WTP


;)

Farnsworth M Muldoon

It was somehow slightly frightening...

When confronted by a bad haircut 42A, the only safe place is the target.

This week in cretinry:

There’s differences but they’re literally minuscule...

Well, in his case.../cheapshot

pst314

WTP: Heh. Perfect.

pst314

Prison where Jeffrey Epstein killed himself to be closed: "The U.S. government said Thursday it is shutting down an embattled federal jail in New York City after a slew of problems that came to light following Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide there two years ago... including lax security and crumbling infrastructure."

Don't worry, there will always be poorly run prisons where inconvenient persons can be sent to commit suicide.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Occasionally the French get it right.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

A couple of kids, soon to be cancelled.

Sam Duncan

“a job that’s perhaps not for everyone”

Not in a million years.

“a Sonny & Cher cover he recorded and mixed while blackout drunk.”

I've heard worse.

“No one talks normally anymore.”

The first time I noticed that people are more sheep-like than I'd realised was after Neighbours had been on for a year or two and everyone was asking questions? Like the whole time? Even when it wasn't a question?

“Really, our nations are increasingly run by people who bear a certain resemblance to Joseph Stalin.”

We used to call them “little Hitlers”, a term originally coined, I believe, for ARP wardens. Nothing changes much, really.

“Occasionally the French get it right.”

For a people so defensive of their liberty – they put us to shame with stuff like this – I can never understand why they keep voting for socialists.

LW

Speaking of not talking normally anymore:

this intelligent dog travels down to the market every day with a basket and some money to fetch groceries for their owner

That's a dog. Judging from the backside, I'd say that is a male dog: "He fetches groceries for his owner." Alternatively, English has a perfectly good neuter ("non-binary") third-person singular pronoun: "It fetches groceries for its owner."

Online, I have seen people use "they" as the pronoun for a monster. I'm talking about a monster that does not resemble anything that actually exists. I have seen people use "they" as the pronoun for a piece of furniture!

There is an argument that "it" is offensive when used about a human being who wants to be non-binary, but dogs, monsters, and furniture?

This annoys me greatly.

David

This annoys me greatly.

Have some fat.

Good for the nerves.

Governor Squid

Don’t make her cross. She’ll shiv you like it’s nothing.

They also denied a blue check to Alan Page yesterday. For those outside of Minnesota, Alan Page was a defensive end for the Vikings who was named the league MVP in 1971 (I believe the first defensive player to win the award). He was also named to the NFL Hall of Fame.

After his fifteen seasons in the NFL, Page went on to get a law degree, and was successful enough in that career that he served on the Minnesota Supreme Court for 22 years.

I know these accomplishments don't rise to the level of "TikTok influencer," but one might think they are sufficient to be recognized as "notable." Maybe he should start streaming his tuba-playing and hope it goes viral.

Between Julia and Page, it's little wonder that the Twitter is offline this morning. Here's hoping the outage is a sign of better days to come.

pst314

They also denied a blue check to Alan Page yesterday.

Remember when they advertised the blue check as being merely a verification of identity?

Sam Duncan

“Remember when they advertised the blue check as being merely a verification of identity?”

Remember when they chose the title “President” because it didn't carry any connotations of grandeur?

If something is rare and sought-after, it won't remain “merely” anything for very long.

asiaseen

Is it any wonder that they struggle to fit in?

I don't think it's her language that's the problem

JuliaM

Governor Squid: ’… it's little wonder that the Twitter is offline this morning.’

It is..? Oh, how sad I am at their misfortune. *resumes her crocheting, smiling secretly*

Sam

The title of "President" doesn't connotate much grandeur these days either.

David

*resumes her crocheting, smiling secretly*

[ Hands Julia her usual - and latest Guild of Evil newsletter. ]

pst314

*resumes her crocheting, smiling secretly*

[ Interest in seeing names crocheted into her knitting intensifies. ]

Karl

I just received a text informing me that I can't get any blood tests done due to "a national shortage of blood bottles".

Dr David Wrigley, deputy council chair of the British Medical Association said: “We are still no closer to understanding how this situation was able to develop..."

Don't worry though, the glorious NHS is on it. It's a "top priority":

A Department of Health and Social Care spokesperson waffled: “Patient safety is a top priority and we are working closely with NHS England, the devolved administrations, and NHS Supply Chain to minimise any impact on patient care. The health and care system continues to work flat out with the supplier and stakeholders to put mitigations in place, and ... blah blah blah."

Manufacturer Becton Dickinson (a.k.a "the supplier and stakeholders") 'alerted the NHS to problems in July and said the increased global demand as well as “UK border challenges” were to blame as well as a shortage of raw materials.'

A shortage of raw materials.
Sand.
A shortage of fucking sand?!

Alex

Well, yeah, Karl, you know what Milton Friedman said about what would happen if you put the government in charge of the Sahara…

Uma Thurmond's Feet

Thanks, Squires, for the link. That was a boss track.

ccscientist

The lady at yellowstone: one guy fell in a geyser and was never even found. Very very dangerous. Having lived in the 60s I also resent her cultural appropriation of my youth. And a VW van? Really?
Pretentious speech shows that you are part of the in-crowd and also an "intellectual" hahahahah idiots

pst314

God, I can smell her pictures, the nasty hippy.

I've known a lot of hippies. Many of them even bathed. They can be superficially pleasant to be around--cheerful, chipper, etc--but nonetheless a waste of one's time thanks to their shallowness and foolishness.

Henry

Now you can watch many of the the slappings in Mexican soap operas collected into 1 video! (with some kneeing and handbagging thrown in). It makes for compelling viewing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClcGyYyDYLs

7:32 is my favourite

Henry

Slap ratio slightly better in this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgUjAJgYI-c

pst314

Not watching unless there is fish slapping.

pst314

Stephen Fry: a dumb person’s idea of a smart person.

pst314

But American liberals are working hard to catch up.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Stephen Fry: a dumb person’s idea of a smart person.

Come on man, the XR guys are super cereal deep thinkers.

pst314

Stephen Fry, by the way, has a net worth of approximately $40 million and owns multiple very luxurious homes. Never mind all that international jet travel. He does not exactly live the lifestyle that XR demands everyone adopt.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

XR boldly fights global warming climate change, no, disruption hysteria by harassing a head of broccoli.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Switching Gears, a bike champion is born.

Darleen

Entertain me,

"What? I'm just looking at this fascinating wall."

asiaseen

super cereal deep thinkers

ACT NOW: BECAUSE IT'S TOO LATE

Squires

Stephen Fry, by the way, has a net worth of approximately $40 million and owns multiple very luxurious homes.

They always do.

...a dumb person’s idea of a smart person.

Look at how many people assume Anthony Hopkins is a font of high and refined intellect, because... what? That’s part of the roles he plays?

Everyone who matters knows Brian Cox played the superior Hannibal.

I'm just looking at this fascinating wall.

This, ladies, is how men wind up looking women in the eyes.

That was a boss track.

He’s still got some other stuff up here and there, but sadly 99% of what he uploaded over past ~10 years is now set to “private”. All for “staying employed” reasons.

Daniel Ream

Band name.

Somehow my girlfriend had never encountered the wonder that is the Rock Band series of video games and has been having quite a fun time of it the last few weekends.

At the beginning of the game you have to name your fledgeling...er, rock band and she got stuck at that screen, at a loss for what to name it.

[ grabs phone ] Hang on, dear. I have a few suggestions...

David

Hang on, dear. I have a few suggestions...

See, this place even has romantic applications.

Watcher In The Dark

Minor observation: why do our American cousins say 'I will write my senator' when they do not make it clear what they are writing 'my senator' on? Is it written on a wall, or the pavement?

If I had an American cousin, I could write to them and find out.

(PS if anyone has an American cousin spare, could they pass on their details to me for adoption? Ta)

WTP

Our American Cousins? If you haven't seen it, I've heard it's to die for.

Sam Duncan

“UK and US language differences”

Hey! (It was officially the “Underground” for decades, but nobody paid any attention.)

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Our ultra creative elites score again - I thought this was a joke, but it isn't.

Currently in pre-production, "Casablanca" with Leslie Jones as Rikki, Jackie Chan as her lost lover, Ilya. Box office boffo, baby!

anon a mouse

why do our American cousins say 'I will write my senator'

Que?

Please join the 21st century. We're supposed to post TikTok vids. With dancing and captioning.

Or FaceTwit if you're on the oldish side (over 29)

ichor0

similar to that eyeball one, a sciencey video all about explosive fantasies with a new metric, 'how many average male adults vaporized'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfXQeP6ESnE&t=287s

pst314

Come on man, the XR guys are super cereal deep thinkers.

As are all those Mensa members I've known. The smart people who I've found to be most worth knowing do not self-segregate in such ways.

pst314

There is a bird sitting on my phone as I tweet this. It's tweeting.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

...it was nowhere as painful as the real thing...

I can't imagine what that might be.

Darleen

Of the 12 Marines and 1 Navy Medic killed, two are from SoCal.

And one of them, Kareem Nikoui, was a 2019 grad of Norco High School ... one year ahead of the grandsons. They were all in the same JROTC program at the school. Please remember them and their grieving families in your prayers.

Karl

"We interviewed Kelly at her home, the girls all called her 'Mom', they appeared to be very much at home and there was nothing we could see to raise any suspicion".

Well, that's good enough for prime time!

pst314

Petition to Welsh parliament demands that Welsh dragons be depicted with penises: "Within symbology, an erect penis depicts fertility and strength, when applied to a royal insignia, it's even more important..."

This was an issue I had never even thought about, but now I'm laughing. On the other hand, millions of women proudly wear pussy hats, so why not?

ccscientist

Twitter is down. Since they've been losing $ for years, maybe deceased? One can hope. Though it does rather mess up "ephemera" posts.

robert kendall

I had a beer and snacks at Berggasthaus Ascher.
Its in Inner Appenzell. good place to take you credit card for a 2 week trek

pst314

Twitter is down.

That's funny. It's been up every time I've checked recently.

pst314

...Though it does rather mess up "ephemera" posts.

There are good arguments for posting screen shots with the links, although in some cases that detracts from the fun of discovering what David's cryptic texts really mean--and there are some images that I would not want to actually see here.

Steve E

For a people so defensive of their liberty – they put us to shame with stuff like this – I can never understand why they keep voting for socialists.

They aren't defensive of liberty for liberty's sake. Their liberty comes with equality and brotherhood, which can be more of a drag on personal liberty when the modern twisted view of those two things is applied. That goes a long way to explain their claim to love liberty while supporting socialism.

The French tradition still sees governing structures as positive things that prevent tyranny, while the American tradition assumes all governing structures lead to tyranny and power must be spread across many institutions to keep tyranny to a minimum. So the French are more truly anti-tyranny than pro-liberty. They legitimately get pissed when governments act tyrannically, putting on yellow vests and taking to the streets. Americans are less surprised when governments act this way and are fare less likely to get pissed enough over it to pick up a pitch fork. My two cents anyway.

pst314

There are good arguments for posting screen shots with the links...

If you use PostImage, as I do, the images are stored on the PostImage site and do not incur data storage costs upon David's hosting service--although they do, of course, increase bandwidth costs.

Have I got that entirely right, David? Costs must be a continuing concern for this rickety barge.

pst314

...Their liberty comes with equality and brotherhood...

"Liberté, egalité, fraternité". Possibly even sororité, although Google Translate insists on translating "sisterhood" as "fraternité", possibly out of some perverse obsession with trans advocacy. ;-)

pst314

Send this bitch to Kabul. Please: Teacher hates American flag and removed it from classroom. Has children pledge allegience to pride flag instead.

WTP

Similar thoughts to Steve E. Well stated.

Richard Cranium
Minor observation: why do our American cousins say 'I will write my senator' when they do not make it clear what they are writing 'my senator' on?

Well, here a very angry letter is implied. I would like to beat those who write and try and within a centimeter of their life (that's less than an inch!) to write to try to instead.

I'm really on the fence about the destructive effects of the 16th and 17th amendments of our Constitution; it's certainly enough to make me want to boil any progressives in their own rendered fat. (To put it another way; if I had a time machine, I'd leave Hitler alone and kill everyone who thought those two amendments were good ideas.)

I wouldn't waste a time machine trip around the "and try and" versus "and try to" bit.

Brian X.

Breaking news from the Indo this week on the Irish Divisions being deployed in World War Hair.

The Curly Air Force, with its proud history of intersectionality with black hair issues, will be hitting the enemy's hair straightener production facilities, also known as the Arsenal of Conformity.

And Traveller women are in on the hair thing as well ...

How we look, how we dress, how we speak have always been under surveillance by outsiders. Whether we’re infants, children, teenagers, mothers or grandmothers, our hair has been a signifier of our ethnicity but also a talking point, a social marker.

This really is like the black hair mania crossing into a new ecosystem, the idea that any outsider has devoted one second of consciousness to the hair on the heads of Travellers. For one thing, Traveller women tend to have so many domestic burdens that they're not often accessible to the public gaze. For another thing, they have hard lives that age them prematurely, so there isn't much glory in their hair or in any other aspect of their appearance. This is of course the fault, not of Traveller women or men or society or choices, but of the legacy of Irish racism.

Presumably all this hair mobilization is under the generalship of black women. Otherwise taking over the megaphone to celebrate how the golden sunshine is reflected in the natural red tresses of free and self-determined Irish women might come across not only as a grievance usurpation but as a blatant female attention grab.

Chester Draws

For a people so defensive of their liberty – they put us to shame with stuff like this – I can never understand why they keep voting for socialists.

I'm not sure "keep" is helpful there.

Since 1996 they have only spent five years under a Socialist President (the execrable Hollande). He won because Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who was clearly going to win, got arrested. And even then he got a lot of votes from non-Socialists simply to keep Le Pen out. He is the French equivalent of Biden, being a "not Le Pen" of no great worth rather than a decent candidate in his own right. (Hollande left power with a 4% approval rating!)

Before him was Francois Mitterand, not the world's most Socialist of Socialists. And before him it was all the way back to Auriol at the end of WWII, when everyone was voting in Socialists.

They do well enough in the national assembly, but only because there is no organised, stable, united right wing party. If a decent centre-right party could be built and hold together it would utterly dominate. But the right in France is unbelievably fractious, torn between too many competing visions and unable to forge an umbrella party.

The French are not particularly left wing, although their left wing is particularly mental.

Stephanie Richer

And one of them, Kareem Nikoui, was a 2019 grad of Norco High School ... one year ahead of the grandsons. They were all in the same JROTC program at the school. Please remember them and their grieving families in your prayers.

SSgt. Ryan Knauss of Knoxville, my town. I am looking to see if they publicize his return and funeral, as I suspect there will be a huge outpouring. Oh, and we don't tolerate any Westboro Baptist showing up - they got run off the last time a fallen warrior came home.

David

Radical scenes.

Stephanie Richer

Swan Woke.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/ballet-leotards-ditched-to-help-transgender-dancers-pn2mbbrsf

Nikw211

Radical scenes

The scenic radicalism continues

(Watching the full two minutes or so of the 'performance' is quite eye-opening in terms of the wider agenda they have in mind).

Nikw211

Radical scenes

Curious what a Venn diagram of XR and Greenham Common protestors might look like.

Karl

Swan Woke.

pst314

Karl: I hear that she really bombed.

ComputerLabRat

Swan Woke

But don't male ballet dancers also wear leotards? And probably some type of supportive undergarment to keep things in place while twisting and jumping. And don't the female ones wear some kind of sports bra support thing to keep things in place while twisting and jumping? Although I always thought dancers tended to be on the small side up top, but I guess there may have been some busty ballerinas.

I thought ballet was about the movement and positioning of the human form - thus the historically tight clothing. Burka ballet kinda misses the point.

Why does the whole world have to change in order to appear to appease to this small minority of mentally ill people? Why do we have to become their lunatic asylum?

Darleen

my town. I am looking to see if they publicize his return and funeral, as I suspect there will be a huge outpouring.

Norco is a small town, I'm right on the border in Corona. It is "Horsetown USA" and fiercely defends its designation by keeping it rural (zoned horse properties, no apartments, no mall, a rodeo arena and has fought off some on the Riverside County supervising board who drool over yanking some of these multi-acre horse farms for dense development). They are also patriotic and the JROTC program at the high school is popular and well-supported.

This happened yesterday.

Darleen

Swan Woke -- "Loose-fitting clothing will instead be promoted to accommodate transgender dancers who may be self-conscious about their bodies."

“That dance – it was nice,” said Hazel.

“Yup,” said George. He tried to think a little about the ballerinas. They weren’t really very good – no
better than anybody else would have been, anyway. They were burdened with sashweights and bags of
birdshot, and their faces were masked, so that no one, seeing a free and graceful gesture or a pretty face,
would feel like something the cat drug in. George was toying with the vague notion that maybe dancers
shouldn’t be handicapped. But he didn’t get very far with it before another noise in his ear radio scattered
his thoughts.

George winced. So did two out of the eight ballerinas.

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