David Thompson
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January 28, 2022

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sonny wayz

...the hamster urine spray bottle or to distract his deranged readers with a new post.

Or? >>>AND<<<

Always have a backup plan!

David

[ Returns from epic feeding at Beloved Sister-In-Law’s. Looks at ongoing thread. Considers whether to cobble together a new post or play Hades’ Star. ]

[ Reaches for tablet. Prepares battleships. ]

pst314

[ Reaches for tablet. Prepares battleships. ]

Glad he didn't go for the galleons.

sonny wayz

Glad he didn't go for the galleons.

Hamster urine comes in galleons?

C'mon, man, you didn't think I was going to able to resist a straight line like that, did you?

pst314

Hamster urine comes in galleons?

No, because England is metric.

pst314

C'mon, man, you didn't think I was going to able to resist a straight line like that, did you?

[ Crosses arms. Begins tapping foot. ]

"Oooooh, waily, waily, waily, the Foldin' o' the Arms! Aargh! No' the Tappin' o' the Feets!"

Alex

Hamster urine comes in galleons?

Of course not. Sex-starved British sailors come in galleons.

David

If anyone’s getting aroused by this thread, I’m flashing the lights on and off.

pst314

If anyone’s getting aroused by this thread, I’m flashing the lights on and off.

That will just bring back memories of discos packed with sexy women.

WTP

Disco sucks. Just sayin'.

Jon

Disco sucks. Just sayin'.

Yeah, so did the women there.

... OK, I'll see myself out...

John

https://letterboxd.com/gavcrimson/film/snow-white-and-the-seven-perverts/

Snow White escape the clutches of her wicked stepmother, throw some sex in the direction of the Huntsman and get urinated on by a rabbit.

And he thinks he scares us with hamster urine?

Daniel Ream

A single small woke complaint has creates problems for a larger group.

Disney should give him exactly what he wants and make Schneewitchen und die Sieben Svartalfar and call it a day.

pst314

Schneewitchen und die Sieben Svartalfar

We're now way beyond my slight knowledge of Norse mythology.

TimT

Svartalfar

I'll thank you to leave the room before breaking wind from now on, sir.

Farnsworth M Muldoon

Starts slow, but stay with it...

Daniel Ream

We're now way beyond my slight knowledge of Norse mythology

That "dwarfs" are short grumpy Jews with long beards is a relatively new thing. In the original Norse myths the dvergr are synonymous with the svartalfar or dokkalfar, the black elves who live underground, are prodigiously strong, forge weapons for the gods and look like human corpses. That's a deconstruction I would watch the hell out of, and no kvetching about hiring the Right Kind of Actors.

pst314

the black elves who live underground

I'd never heard of "dark elves" until I overheard fans mentioning them, but was unable to figure anything out from their cryptic comments. Tentatively guessed that this was probably an invention of gamers or fans ("we need more kinds of exotic creatures to battle!").

bill

"♫ dvergr elves, dvergr elves, Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?♬"
Tonight: a dvergr elf takes a norse axe to the chest after running at a Norse policeman with a sword and the policeman is forced to defend himself. Also, an overloaded Viking ship gets pulled over by the fiord police and cited for having an inadequate number of shields mounted on the sides of the boat.
"♫ dvergr elves, dvergr elves, Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you? ♫"

Daniel Ream

Tentatively guessed that this was probably an invention of gamers or fans

Sorta kinda. D&D stole anything that wasn't nailed down (or that they couldn't pry up with a crowbar) but the creators didn't know much about mythology or Germanic languages so there are at least six different D&D monsters, all completely different, that are all based on one translation or another of the phrase "black elves" from the two sparse references to same in the original Norse sagas. When D&D nerds talk about "dark elves" they're referring to the Drow, one of those attempts to create more exotic things to kill and loot.

The saga references are both incredibly terse and full of allusion, as all the sagas were, making it impossible to say just about anything about what the ljosalfar or dokkalfar actually looked like. Personally I kind of like the idea of zombie blacksmiths.

Tonight: a dvergr elf takes a norse axe to the chest after running at a Norse policeman [...]

Oh, I would watch the hell out of that.

Directrix Gazer

Yes, unfortunately the written sources we have on Norse mythology are rather sparse, and what there is assumes the reader is conversant with a broad popular knowledge base that doesn't exist anymore. It's still worthwhile reading, in my opinion.

On the morning of Good Friday, it happened in Caithness that a man called Dorrud went outside and saw twelve riders approach a woman's bower and disappear inside. He walked over to the bower and peered through a window; inside, he could see women with a loom set up before them. Men's heads were used in place of weights, and men's intestines for the weft and warp; a sword served as the beater, and the shuttle was an arrow. And these were the verses they were chanting:

'Blood rains
From the cloudy web
On the broad loom
Of slaughter.
The web of man,
Grey as armor,
Is now being woven;
The Valkyries
Will cross it
With a crimson weft.

'The warp is made
Of human entrails;
Human heads
Are used as weights;
The heddle-rods
Are blood-wet spears;
The shafts are iron-bound,
And arrows are the shuttles.
With swords we will weave
This web of battle.

'The Valkyries go weaving
With drawn swords,
Hild and Hjorthrimul,
Sanngrid and Svipul.
Spears will shatter,
Shields will splinter,
Swords will gnaw
Like wolves through armor...'

-Excerpt from Njal's Saga

TimT

Yes, unfortunately the written sources we have on Norse mythology are rather sparse

Hey, it's better than most other sources of mythological information. Nowhere near as copious as our knowledge about Roman and Greek mythology, but they are the exception rather than the rule. Those ancient Icelandic scribes and poets had a great sense of humour, too - I love that one of the first collections of Norse/Germanic mythology released in the dark ages was titled 'Moldy vellum', and its sequel: 'Handsome vellum'.

pst314

so there are at least six different D&D monsters, all completely different, that are all based on one translation or another of the phrase "black elves" from the two sparse references to same in the original Norse sagas.

Thanks for the explication.

Sagas being an oral tradition, would I be right in surmising that a lot never got written down?

a dvergr elf takes a norse axe to the chest after running at a Norse policeman [...]

That almost sounds like something one might read about today, except that it would be "orc takes bullet to the chest..."

pst314

Excerpt from Njal's Saga

Yikes. I think I prefer the North Malden Chamber of Commerce.

Daniel Ream

would I be right in surmising that a lot never got written down?

The earliest written source we have for the Icelandic sagas is from the 13th century, long after the Scandinavian countries were thoroughly Christianized. So yes. One of the most frustrating things about pre-Industrial history is how absolutely miniscule the corpus is, and unreliable.

That almost sounds like something one might read about today

Well yes, that was the joke.

pst314

Well yes, that was the joke.

Is it time to post a series of Orc Lives Matter memes?

Directrix Gazer

Yikes. I think I prefer the North Malden Chamber of Commerce.

I intentionally picked one of the most over-the-top parts of the saga in question. Most of it is a combination of family drama climaxing in periodic skull-splitting action as the family drama comes to a head. Oh, and lots of bizarrely modern-feeling medieval Icelandic legal maneuvering! It's probably my favorite of the sagas I've read.

With regards to more directly mythological stuff, the Poetic Edda and Prose Edda both have some fantastic passages and are overall very interesting.

Nowhere near as copious as our knowledge about Roman and Greek mythology, but they are the exception rather than the rule.

You're right, of course. I realize now that I was implicitly comparing what we know of Norse and Germanic myth with the more literate cultures around the Mediterranean.

pst314

Nowhere near as copious as our knowledge about Roman and Greek mythology, but they are the exception rather than the rule.

And even that is tragically incomplete. For instance, these are the surviving remnants of 4 great Greeks:
* Euripides: About 20 out of 90 to 95 plays.
* Aeschylus: 7 out of 70 to 90 plays.
* Sophocles: 7 out of over 120 plays.
* Sappho: About 650 out of an estimated 10,000 lines of poetry, and only 1 complete poem.

TimT

Love the Sagas, and yes, Njal's Saga is full of hilarious legal quibbling. I believe the passage you were quoting from is the 'Battle Song of the Valkyries'/'Song of the Fates'/the 'Darraðarljoð' - a very well known song quoted in several Icelandic texts and actually surviving until the 18th century in the Orkneys! George Mackay Brown, a wonderful Orkney writer, talks about it a lot in his books.

Some of the shorter sagas - the Viking 'Romances', as they have been dubbed - are hilarious and fantastical and give the lie to the quasi-historical tone of the longer, more serious pieces like 'Njal's Saga'. Well worth chasing up.

TimT

For instance, these are the surviving remnants of 4 great Greeks...

Homer did well for himself, considering the length of The Odyssey/The Iliad. (Yes, I am in the 'Homer exists and you shall be sent to Hades for not believing in him!' court!)

My favourite classical author is Aristophanes, only eleven of his many works survive. The dude is hilarious.

Directrix Gazer

My favourite classical author is Aristophanes, only eleven of his many works survive. The dude is hilarious.

Brekekekex Koax Koax ;)

TimT

Brekekekex Koax Koax ;)

One of these days I will learn this Aristophanes quote in full as a party trick. But not today!

pst314

My favourite classical author is Aristophanes

The source of "cloud cuckoo land", the true name of many a university.

pst314

Has Twitter just killed its own platform?

I do not see the problem if I use Firefox's "private window" feature.

WTP

I noticed today the problem was a bit hit-and-miss. I thought it was over until later in the day it popped up again. I spent most of today on my laptop, Chrome/Windoze. But when I sat down to use my iPad just before dinner it was almost immediate.

Daniel Ream

The Odyssey/The Iliad

Permit me to recommend http://trojanwarpodcast.com/. Jeff is a standup dude who keeps agenda-driven BS out of his work and is entertaining as hell. "Agamemnon, commander of Operation Trojan Storm" and "Achilles, history's greatest weapon of mass destruction" still amuses me.

pst314

We will never reach Peak Woke because there are always new heights of idiocy and evil to climb.

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