Rashly, He Left Them Unsupervised
It Was A Time Of Howls And Tin-Rattling

The Pretending Can Get Competitive

Genevieve Gluck brings news from Scandinavia:

A man in Norway is sparking outrage on social media after he was sympathetically interviewed about his decision to begin identifying as a disabled woman... In the interview, [he] stated that he had always wished he had been born a woman who was paralysed from the waist down.

So not just a woman, but a woman in a wheelchair, which confers bonus points. So many intersections. So many opportunities to impose on others. The gentleman in question, Jørund Viktoria Alme, is a 53-year-old senior credit analyst for Oslo’s Handelsbanken. He is of course able-bodied, if a tad high-maintenance:

“In the same way that I experience being a woman in a man’s body, I experience that I should have been paralysed from the waist down. This is not a desire to be a burden on society. It is about the wheelchair being an aid for me to function in everyday life, both privately and at work,” Alme stated.

Unsurprisingly, many actually disabled people, whose use of wheelchairs is not recreational or a prop in some theatrical psychodrama, have aired their reservations about this new frontier in the world of make-believe identities. Among them, Noomi Alexandersen, a woman with cerebral palsy, who told Norway’s TV 2 that Mr Alme’s professed “identity” is an insult. Mr Alme, however, prefers to think of himself – an activity well-practised - as an activist of sorts, overcoming prejudice and facilitating “diversity and inclusion.” It’s all terribly selfless and heroic.

Oh wait. 

In September, Alme confessed to [Norwegian newspaper] iNyheter that his identity as a disabled woman was sexually motivated. 

As I was saying, selfless and heroic.

Mr Alma, it turns out, has been happy to share his tales of titillation:

Alme has told Norwegian outlets that his desire to be disabled stems from a childhood memory. He recalled feeling “envious” of another child with a leg injury who was using crutches while he was an elementary school student. “My reaction was an intense interest. My heart pounded, my pulse increased, and I was activated in my body. I was incredibly focused on him and what this was all about. Everyone gathered around and was going to try the crutches, while I kept my distance. I was so afraid that someone would find out what was going on inside me,” Alme told [Norwegian newspaper] Budstikke.  

He was activated in his body. Now defer to his fetish, you bigot.

You see, Mr Alme feels “very uncomfortable” if he doesn’t have “an outlet” for his “need to sit in a wheelchair.” That’s sitting in a wheelchair while dressed as a woman, adorned with make-up and painted nails, and while feigning disability. Just so we’re clear on this. When asked by his wife whether this behaviour is a fetish, he replied, somewhat coyly, “Maybe so.” Our facilitator of sensitivity also tells us that he feels “a lot of excitement” when buying himself ladies’ shoes, particularly “shoes with high heels.” Indeed, Mr Alme boasts an extensive collection.

Because wheelchair and heels, obviously. 

The idea that one’s bizarre and rather elaborate sexual kinks – including wheelchairs and cross-dressing - probably shouldn’t be inflicted on random strangers, on work colleagues, and on one’s own children, of which he is the father of two, appears to have escaped him.