davidthompson

His Deodorant Failed Him

Man accused of having sex with a Shetland pony was found “smelling strongly of horses.”

Oh, there’s more:  

Police say Alan Barnfield was “sweating profusely” and had several cans of Lynx in his bag on the night he was seen leading two ponies into a dark wooded area.

That is all. Carry on. 

A Niche Appetite

Speaking, as we were, of farmyard erotica, here’s a thing to ponder:

The court heard that he initially removed cow pats from the farm but his behaviour escalated, with Truscott regularly entering the farm to perform a sex act in slurry.

I’m not easily scandalised but the term “cow slurry fetishist” did raise an eyebrow.